People Are Naming Their Pets After ‘Game Of Thrones’ Characters, Including Joffrey

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You already live, eat, and breathe Westeros, so why not go the extra mile and christen your dog after your favorite character? Well, if you need a little help, the Game Of Thrones pet names that people have been bestowing on their animal friends have been revealed to the world by Entertainment Weekly, courtesy of Healthy Paws Pet Insurance. They analyzed a database of 1 million pet names to conclude what I'd suspected all along: people get inspiration from television and name their beloved animals after their favorite (or least favorite characters). The last part matters, because what I hadn't counted on was that so many people would choose to name their pets after Game of Thrones characters who are either morally ambiguous, downright evil, or just a little boring.

I'm sure you're just as into surprises as kittens are into fighting with dust motes or hamsters are into escaping from their cages, so let's work through this glorious list of pet-owner madness countdown style. I'll start with the ninth most popular name and ease my way closer to the pet name that sits on the Iron Throne and rules King's Landing. One big spoiler: weirdly, people love naming their pets after the Lannister family. What sort of pet mommies and daddies are you guys? Are you hoping to raise furry Patrick Batemans? Please stop.

9Tommen Baratheon

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This is a little bit odd, right? Tommen is lovely (especially given who his mom is), but he's so frail and easily influenced. But, hey, maybe this is an excellent choice if you worship your furry pal with as much intensity as Cersei does her son.

8Joffrey Baratheon

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On one hand, I was shocked. Why would you name your pet after the most malevolent character on the show? But on the other hand, it made perfect sense, because Joffrey is such a cat. He's narcissistic, everything has to go his way, and he loves playing with his prey before he kills it. (No offense, cat owners.)

7Tywin Lannister

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Now here I'm stumped. Tywin Lannister? The guy who croaks on the toilet? He's evil and boring in equal measures.

6Cersei Lannister

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Again, this makes so much sense, because she's even more feline than Joffrey is. I mean, she blows up the entire Great Sept of Baelor to get rid of one man who's really getting on her nerves (the High Sparrow). CAT.

5Jaime Lannister

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He starts off as the worst, and he gradually (with some notable and disturbing exceptions that I won't go into here) gets better. A little bit like my best friend's puppy, who started life piddling on carpets and shredding her soft furnishings, and now is an absolute dream. Yes, I condone this choice, pet owners.

4Tyrion Lannister

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He's smart as a whip, loyal, funny, loving and brave, which explains why 58 percent of the 295 pets named after the Lannisters get given his name. My only confusion is why we're naming pets after him rather than our first-borns.

3Sansa Stark

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Again, there's been a clear progression with her characterization. She started the show with zero ability to read people, with instincts so off the mark that she even falls for Joffrey (ugh). But she has become fearless, tough, and indomitable. This is the perfect name for your beautiful baby rabbit that you're worried will get eaten by a fox.

2Arya Stark

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Sansa and her sister drew even in terms of numbers of pets named after them, with Entertainment Weekly citing there were 900 pets collectively named after them. Arguably, this makes even more sense for Arya than Sansa, though. The younger Stark sister is small but fierce, and she'd do anything for her family, just as you hope your guinea pig would.

1The Stark Family's Direwolves

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We have not been told exactly which direwolves (or given a ranking of the most popular direwolf names), but we do know that over 5,400 pet owners have opted for direwolf monikers. So, whether you called your hamster Grey Wind, your gracious kitten Lady, or your mutt Nymeria, you know you're in good company.

With Game Of Thrones set to return on July 16, there's sure to be more inspiration for what to call your next furry baby. Personally, I'm going to need a direwolf to hide behind during the scariest scenes Season 7 has to offer.