The 15 Funniest 'First Dates' Moments That Will Have You Howling
Many of us have had them and many of us have squirmed through them: first dates. I've personally had enough in my time to make Carrie Bradshaw blush. I'm no relationship expert, but I am pretty sure that internet or not, most first dates are like a cat on roller skates: awkward. With nearly everyone using social media, it's nigh on impossible to avoid seeing what someone looks like before you go on a date, making blind dates null and void in 2k18. Well, except for one specific type of blind date, since some sick genius (thankfully) invented reality TV, and in particular, First Dates on Channel 4.
Reality TV has spawned countless opportunities for awkward moments to be captured on camera, so that all of us can share that cringey feeling right down in the bottom of our stomachs. First Dates is a particularly great example, as it pulls at most people's secret or not-so-secret desire to be loved, darling. Loved! Normally, initial hangouts are super casual and have an escape route. Drinks, maybe a coffee. Now, imagine your first time meeting someone was drinks, a three-course meal, and a post-game analysis. Come child, let's take a look at some of the funniest moments on First Dates thus far...
1. When They Matched A Former Couple
Let's set the scene. You've spent ages getting ready, you look glam as hell. You're open for what the universe has to offer you, you're sipping on a large glass of reasonably priced white wine to ease your nerves ahead of potentially meeting the love of your life. Then, your douchebag ex walks in. You die. Emma and Peter from Season 8 are a prime example of worst case scenario.
2. The Benefits Of Dating In Old Age
Lynn and John from Season 7 instantly pulled at viewers' heartstrings by being all late in life and still up for meeting someone spesh. Stand-up comic Lynn went straight ahead and smashed any condescending "aw they are so cute and old" views by being completely hilarious. This woman's comedic timing is flawless. Huge props to this feminist icon for flagging that meeting the parents is no longer an issue for her.
3. Let's Be Honest
Season 8 of First Dates showed exactly how not to act while on camera. Nothing says romance like bailing before the main course because honey, you know what you want, and it ain't him. Also, we love John actually staying on to finish on your own because you know, self-love is important. John's sass level is off the Richter scale and Greig hits it on the head when he describes John as a d*ck.
4. Making A Fool Of Yourself When Showing Off
Hey, being awkward on a first date is surely par for the course, but Lucy does kind of take it to the next level. Season 4's Lucy shows her strength by lifting up her lovely date Caroline, but in the process, rips her top and ruins everything. #awkwardpeoplebelike
5. Pre-Loading Ahead Of The Big Night
People deal with nerves in many different ways. Some go for a walk, do some yoga, or meditate. Others get trashed. Anna from Season 3 does what I definitely did pre-, post- and during my first-ever blind date: get wasted. Blind drunk on a blind date. It just makes sense.
6. When Laura Gave A Super Original Styling Tip
Glamorous Kent native Laura from Season 4 was keen to share her pre-date routine during her appearance on the show. Her top tip is to just go on and blow dry your vagina. Thanks for the advice Laura, I'll pass.
7. When The Richard Blackwood Appeared
Oh yes. Celebrity specials are really what trashy TV dreams are made of. Nothing says inflated sense of self-importance like claiming Hollywood is calling then realising shortly after that your date has no idea what you do. Diana was taking none of his nonsense and basically spent the entire date gently rinsing him. Diana, I salute you.
8. When One Couple Had An Awkward Potential Link
Season 10 provided one of the squirmiest moments in First Dates history. Jordan and Will seemed like a good match. All was going swimmingly until Jordan nipped off to the WC for a quick goss and update with her mate, revealing that her date was a dead ringer for her brother. Insert puke emoji here. What would you do? Your date turns up, he looks like your brother, and he shares your last name. Oh eff are we related? Cheque please.
9. The Age Game
How many times do people have to ask, "oh hey, what age do you think I am?" before they realise asking that question is the absolute worst idea ever. Robbie from Season 8 went right on ahead and asked Jo this horrific question. She thought he was 10 years older. That is absolutely brutal. Everyone knows you say younger than you actually think. Ugh, the world is a vampire.
10. This Woman Is All Of Us
Internet stalking. We all do it, I don't care what you say. After 25 minutes, you are looking at photos of your date's step-cousin's trip to Ibiza. The internet provides a hellishly addictive and easy way to find out nearly everything about a date. Season 4's Rebecca went hell-for-leather and just laid it all bare for not only David but every future date ever. Nice work.
11. Turning Up Well Oiled
In Season 6, Bella and Bertie really set tongues wagging with their sex positive and debauched attitude. Bella sliding off the chair owing to having over-lubed her latex dress was quite something and let's not even mention the spanking.
12. The Millennial Curse
It's a symptom of the modern condition, isn't it? When you have a gazillion different dating profiles and/or have talked to so many people that you lose count. Paul and Lauren from Season 4 show that moment when you've already matched on Tinder with your date. All swipe left here.
13. A True Carrie Bradshaw Moment
I have to say good on blogger Lauren for full-on whipping out her laptop during her interview. Shows chutzpah. This, coupled with her letting date Keith know how she likes to "instil fear" in a man, makes for viewing that's uncomfortable, but in a great way.
14. It's All About The Positive Spin
Getting stood up really sucks. This Geordie gal Georgia from Season 4 really has the right idea. Get stood up? How 'bout baaaaaaaai, I already got someone new? After clocking Alex, she moves on quick as can be and snatches someone else's date.
15. The Lady Who Knows What She Wants
Accountant and model Jade, whose date with Adam was featured in Season 8, had what can only be described as a laundry list of prerequisites for any potential boyfriend. Including a few you'll expect and a few you won't. Never late, fun, rich... low sex drive. Whaaaaaat.
First Dates Season 10 is currently airing on Channel 4 and will definitely provide us with more toe-curling moments. But hopefully, we'll get to see some super cute falling-in-love moments too.