Life
We interrupt the regularly scheduled dumpster-fire 24-hour news cycle to bring you this adorable display of petulant and perfect penguins. Just like high-performing students, penguins deserve to get recognized for their accomplishments, or lack thereof. Enter the National Aquarium of New Zealand's naughty penguin of the month program. This viral hilarious and touching display of penguin politics is giving people on Twitter all the feels just when they need a dose of everything warm and fuzzy.
If you're not in the know, these cute AF New Zealand penguins are receiving monthly awards for naughty behavior like stealing fish and pushing over fellow penguins while good penguins are lauded for their swimming techniques and patience. Twitter user Jonny Waistcoat, London-based writer and narrator of the horror podcast Magnus Archives, has been following the antics of New Zealand's most mischievous seabirds. Because, you need more penguins in your life.
Just like humans, penguins are super social, which means they also get on one another's nerves, especially when they're focused on a task or trying to have a little me time. "While they are in the ocean [or their aquarium tank], all penguins are less sociable than on land because they focus on catching prey, swimming, or doing other individual activities," the website Penguin-World explained. These tweets about the penguin naughty and nice awards perfectly illustrate this point, and they're the best thing you'll see all day.
1
Timmy Steals Fish
Timmy received his naughty award for stealing fish and pushing over another penguin. Perhaps he pushed Betty, who seems much more chill and has no problem waiting for her fish. Timmy needs a time out.
2
Food Is Not A Toy, Pepper
Pepper the penguin received a naughty award for playing with her food and then dropping it, kind of like that picky eater little brother or sister at the dinner table who tries to feed their meal to the dog under the table. Pepper, we see you. You're not fooling anyone. Captain on the other hand doesn't mess around, and he gets the good penguin award for being prompt, eating his food, and peacing out. Because, priorities.
3
Dora Detests Giants
Dora is not jiving with her penguin roommates, and she wants out. But first she needs to get past the tall human named Matt. Pepper was unsuccessful in her escape, and she let tall Matt know by attacking him. Captain gets the good boy award for being a loving and attentive penguin papa.
4
Jack Is Good At Keeping Eggs Warm
Mo is the worst kind of bully. He steals fish from his friends and doesn't even eat them. Instead, he drops them on the sand in a sadistic taunt. Jack is a good boy for sharing his parenting duties with his partner by sitting on the nest to keep the couple's baby eggs warm and cozy.
5
Dora Is A Diva
Diva Dora is basically the Madonna of penguins. She demands an escort to the feeding station (perhaps to keep Mo away from her dinner), earning her the naughty award for requiring an entourage. Lulu is recognized for being nice and helpful, which makes her a good candidate for Dora's escort.
6
Timmy Gets A Dose Of Karma
Timmy learns the hard way that what goes around comes around after Tux shoves him off the pier. Perhaps this will teach Timmy not to push other penguins around and steal their food. Because Timmy, actions have consequences. Mr. Mac gets the sweetie-pie award for calling out to his blind BAE so she can find her way back to the nest. OMG! I'm not crying — you're crying.
7
Mo Is A Bad Influence On Bunny
Bunny learns that sometimes it feels good to be bad, and she wins the naughty award for replicating Mo's bad habits. Draco gets recognized for standing up for Timmy after Tux pushes him off the pier. After all, everyone deserves a second chance.
8
Bunny Outwits Mo
Flip wants to stay off the scale, because this penguin knows that how much you weigh is not a measure of your self worth, and he successfully avoids the humans on weighing day. In other news, it turns out that humans aren't the only ones who learn lessons at the school of hard knocks. Bunny gets the good-girl award for giving mean Mo a taste of his own medicine by stealing his fish. Ah, Mo. The teacher becomes the student.
9
Timmy Makes The Ultimate Penguin Gaffe
Just like humans shouldn't swim when they have active diarrhea, penguins are discouraged from swimming in the aquarium while they're molting. Timmy says sorry, not sorry and goes for a swim anyway. Pepper gets all the love for taking a fish treat from a human for the first time. Pay attention Dora. Being nice to the two-legged giants will get you extra fish.
10
Timmy Turns A Corner
Reformed bad boy Timmy earns himself a good-boy award for learning that finding his own fish will earn him more friends than stealing it from others. Overall, these penguins are examples of the old adage "everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten."
If you've forgotten this childhood code of honor, here's the quick and dirty. Don't steal from your friends, no pushing or shoving, nobody likes a diva, don't play with your food, maybe don't poop (or molt your skin) in the pool or bathtub, sharing is caring, and above all else, be kind to others. Seriously, humans can learn a lot from penguins.
