You’re probably more than familiar with the “right in front of my salad” meme. This isn’t your first internet, I’m sure. You’re also probably well aware of the very NSFW origins of the meme. But honestly, what even is safe for work these days, you know? (Full disclosure: I was not aware that the “right in front of my salad” meme is a screengrab from a porno. So, if you too were blissfully unaware ... well, the more you know, I guess.) Now that we’re all caught up, the internet has moved on to the next big thing. Specifically, the “right in front of my salad” sequel. Yes, our favorite salad-eating star is back at it again, eating salad and stumbling upon her husband having sex with other people —stay with me here— while she is eating the aforementioned salad.
According to BuzzFeed, the sequel is called Not In Front Of My Salad... Again!, which is a perfect sequel title. 10/10. Every sequel from here on out should follow suit and just add “...Again!” to their original titles. The first “right in front of my salad” video was actually titled Private Lessons Part 3, as previously reported by BuzzFeed. (BuzzFeed’s out here doing the lord’s work, watching porn and then telling us everything we need to know about that porn.)
If you didn’t see the original, don’t you worry. The sequel is both entirely self-explanatory and makes little sense regardless of whether you saw the first one or not. Also, it’s literally just a porno about a wife who keeps catching her husband having sex with the service workers he’s hired in the middle of her trying to eat a salad. We’re not working with complex plot points here.
The video’s description reads: “Jaxton wants to make it up to his wife with a nice in-home massage but things don't go as planned when masseur Luke offers up some extra lip service and ass. Little does he know he's about to get caught and right in front of that salad again!”
Without further ado, some key moments from Not In Front Of My Salad... Again!
Yes, that is salad cascading behind the title card. True cinematic excellence. We open on the nameless wife making a salad.
The salad (uncredited) is the true star of the show.
She is very into the salad.
A few questions: Does Jaxton wait until his wife is eating a salad to cheat on her? How can the nameless, salad-eating wife continue to eat salad after having such a jarring experience in the past? What kind of salad greens is she using?
Then, Salad Wife walks to another room to go eat her salad in peace.
Wait, what was that?
Oh, just her husband in a different room having sex with another man right in front of her salad AGAIN.
The salad, also in shock, falls out of her mouth dramatically onto the floor.
Like, a lot of salad falls out of her mouth.
She and her salad can't believe their eyes.
Finally, Salad Wife runs out of the room never to be seen... Again!
Will there be third installment in the salad series? What will it be called? “Once More, In Front Of My Salad!”? “Right In Front Of My Salad For A Third Time!”? “How Much More Can Me And My Salad Bear?” Please direct your thoughts and prayers toward Salad Wife and her salad during what I'm assuming can only be a difficult time for both of them.