Getting divorced can be a completely devastating, life-changing decision. It can, however, also be the most healthy choice for a couple that can no longer maintain their bond. Although each experience with divorce is unique, there are, according to experts, certain common causes of divorce that come up again and again over the years.
The problems that cause divorce are a lot more similar, and a lot less tangible, than you may think. Each couple experiences a different series of events before they eventually decided to break up, but the themes that underly these issues tend to similarly get to the root of the human psyche. "There are common threads mainly because human relationships, and what impacts them, are pretty consistent — despite individual differences," David Bennett, certified counselor and relationship expert, tells Bustle. While this may be overwhelming to wrap your head around, it is also a good thing; some of these issues are actually things you can get ahead of early in a relationship.
Marriage, however, is a two-way street. "You have the power to create and cultivate the relationship which you desire," certified sex therapist, licensed mental health counselor and couples counselor Chasity Chandler, tells Bustle. "If you can make it work, do the work and make it work. [However,] when things are super unhealthy and irrevocably broken, learn how to navigate the divorce in a way that yields a healthier outcome for all involved." If you can't get past certain common issues with your partner, then divorce isn't a failure on your part.
Here are the top three reasons couples get divorced, according to experts.