If finding a more adorable way to flex on the haters is something you seek, you have come to the right place. Behold, these AirPod Keychains available online through Urban Outfitters. They’re giving me twee opulence. They’re giving me “richest kid in middle school” vibes. They are giving me another reason to hate my non-wireless earbuds, which I’m convinced have come to life with the sole purpose of tangling themselves into a mess of wires while I’m not looking.
The online brand Elago is to thank/blame for the AirPod accessory you didn’t know you needed. “Give your AirPods or keys some flair with this bejeweled bobble,” the product description on Urban Outfitters’ site reads. Very generous of them to add “or keys” to the short list of locations from which to display these charms. “Or keys” definitely reads as an afterthought, an apology even. Like, “Give your AirPods or...keys? Do poors still carry keys? How much could one banana cost…$10?”
Available for $13, the keyring is designed to clip onto an AirPods case (“or key ring” the product description breathily screams). “This charm adds major personality to every accessory.” You heard it here first, folks: having AirPods is an entire personality!
There are four different keyrings available on UrbanOutfitters.com, and you’re bonkers if you don’t think I’m going to carefully assess each one. First up, we have a keyring with a strawberry milk carton charm, a little red heart charm, a gold plate chare with the word “handmade,” and a charm that reads Elago. (All four options include this Elago charm.) This keyring is perfect if you want to say, “I love strawberry milk and can spend $160 on wireless earbuds.” These are currently on back order, according to the website, as many AirPod owner must love strawberry milk.
Next, we have a keyring with the following charms: a white daisy, a large peach, a gold plate chare with the word “handmade,” and a charm that reads Elago. This set of charms is for you if you are someone who has a big, juicy peach butt, loves flowers, and has disposable income for AirPod accessories. “Hurry! They're almost gone!” a note on the site says because breaking news: many AirPod users also all have big, juicy peach butts.
Up third, is a keyring perfect for springtime with a white heart charm, a blush pink tulip charm, and a little crochet pink flower charm with a white bead in the center. This keyring is for the AirPod user who wants their AirPod accessories to change with the AirPod seasons.
Finally, we have the cheekiest keyring of the bunch: a set of charms including a little bumble bee, a red heart, and a corgi looking over its shoulder (do dogs have shoulders???) and winking. Cute! This set of charms is perfect for your dogs’ AirPod case.
Is a decorative keyring for your AirPod case a necessity? I guess I would need you to define “necessity.” Is it a necessity to do it to ‘em?
Elago has an extended collection of AirPod keyrings on their website. There are AirPod keyrings with ducks. AirPod keyrings with bunnies. There is even an AirPod keyring with Cinderella on it. The power that that has. The intelligence that that has. The clearance that that has. The access that that has. The influence that that has. The profile that that has. The international implications that that has.
Give an AirPod keyring for Mother’s Day. Put it on your birthday wish-list. Send it as a gift that says “Congrats on pooping out the AirPods you swallowed!” Send it as a follow-up gift for finding out the AirPods still worked after passing through the human body! AirPod keyrings for everyone!!!