Um, Let's Talk About This Terrifying House For Sale Full Of Giant Dolls

Do you long for new and expensive ways to keep yourself up at night? Does your current place of living just not give you quite enough nightmares? Have I got the home for you. It’s a gorgeous, five bedroom, five and a half bath, $1.275 million house for sale that’s filled with mannequins. It has a two acre lot, more than 7400 square feet, and did I mention it’s packed to the brim with dolls, mannequins, taxidermied animals, and figurines that are surely at least mildly haunted? Plus, there’s a pool!

The house, listed on HAR.com, is located in Richmond, Texas, which I understand could be a dealbreaker if you don’t want to relocate. Or if you, you know, can’t get past the hundreds of dolls and mannequins featured prominently in the photos of the home. Like the listing states, the house comes complete with “family room, study, art studio, game room, trophy room, pool, outdoor kitchen, fabulous kitchen and garage apartment.” The listing focuses primarily on the home’s architecture and amenities, like it’s large closets, gas log fireplace, and whirlpool tub. The listing doesn’t explicitly use the words “nightmarish mannequins,” but those are also in the house. I suppose the photos more than speak for themselves on that front.

The house is currently owned by a local artist and her family, according to ABC13 Houston. As realtor Diana Power specified in an interview to ABC13 Houston, the art (AKA the life-like mannequins, clown paintings, dolls, etc.) is not for sale. “She’s taking everything when she moves,” Power said.

So, while the mannequins aren't included with the house, the pictures give you a pretty good idea of all the possible locations you could put a mannequin, should that also be your thing. Join me, won’t you, on a tour of the home.

This is the front. So beautiful! So lush! So unassuming about the secrets within!

Here’s the entrance, enclosed by an electronic gate and guarded by the first of many mannequins you will meet on this tour. Say hello!

Admire this view from the entryway. There’s a staircase on the left, access to the formal living room on the right, and clown imagery sprinkled throughout. Don’t miss the mannequin at the top of the stairs!

Here we have the study. It’s the perfect space to keep your personal library or dangle a mannequin child from the ceiling. Or even both!

This is the master bedroom, complete with a sitting area and lots of natural light. Wondering what you and your spouse might look like while trying to decide which HGTV show to watch? Thankfully, two mannequins are available to be your guide. “Unfortunately, the art goes with the artist,” the listing clarifies. Shoot darn!

The house even has an upstairs game room. “Notice the up-lighting on the second layer of the coved ceiling,” the listing states. Between the lines, it begs for you to ignore the mannequin child riding a tricycle across the ceiling. Please! Focus on the lighting!

Lest we forget the sprawling, two acre lot, here’s a look at the yard and its lovely landscaping. Is that a groundskeeper mowing the lawn in the background? Nope! Just another mannequin on a riding mower. Cool!

You can view the full listing and all 30 photos of the home on HAR.com, in case you want to get a better idea of the bathrooms and whether there are also mannequins in there. (Surprise! There are!)