I know you probably think you’ve seen it all, but that’s a mistake and you’re wrong, because have you seen this kangaroo trying to act sexy? If you’re hoping I mistyped “kangaroo” or “sexy” or perhaps both, sorry but no. There is a picture of an actual, live kangaroo trying to act all sexy circulating the internet, and nobody can look away.
The photo was originally taken by Sandrina Duniau, a tourist from France visiting Australia. According to Cater News, Duniau spotted the kangaroo lounging in front of the public bathrooms in John Forrest National Park, a place in Perth where kangaroos are apparently free to roam and pose seductively as they please. And when I say “lounging,” I mean that literally. The kangaroo is lying on its side, elbow bent, and practically looking over its shoulder like, “Oh, sorry. I didn’t see you come in.”
“It was right in the middle of the toilets blocking the entrance to the doorway,” Duniau said, “and there was no way I was brave enough to go and bother it.” Instead, Duniau took a picture that the kangaroo was clearly already posed for and sent it to her family.
Cater News heard about the photo, shared it on Twitter, and the rest soon-to-be-deleted browser history.
That pose is borderline offensive. Mostly because I can’t believe a kangaroo can flirt with people better than me? Also, maybe read the room, kangaroo. Now is most definitely not the time for you to just be doing aggressively seductive poses wherever you see fit.
Can you imagine walking to a public restroom and there being a literal kangaroo posed like, “sup?” I mean, I guess you don’t have to imagine it because now there is a photograph of it. I’m trying to picture any other animal doing that, and it’s either not physically possible or seemingly less...intentional? Why does that kangaroo look like it knows exactly what it’s doing? Maybe it’s the fact that kangaroos have elbows and way too many muscles.
Twitter is equally confused and unsettled by the whole thing.
“It was so funny – I couldn’t stop laughing when I saw it was posed like that," Duniau also told Caters News. I’ve never seen a kangaroo in the wild, but I can say with certainty that my first reaction to a sensually posed kangaroo would not be “he he ha ha what a silly kangaroo.” It would be, “I better call my family because I am certainly about to meet my death and/or be forced to marry this kangaroo.”
Don’t tell this new kangaroo, but the role of “unsettling kangaroo” had already been filled by Roger, the 9-year-old buff kangaroo that likes to crush buckets. Like, large metal buckets. Roger, whose picture you’ve likely seen circulating the internet in meme-form, measures 6.5 feet from head to tail and weighs about 200 pounds. Roger resides at the Kangaroo Sanctuary at Alice Springs, about 1,500 miles away from where Sexy Bathroom Kangaroo is lounging at John Forrest National Park, which I would assume is for the best.
Lest you think the internet only big enough for two muscle-y kangaroos, another ripped kangaroo made its rounds online after someone pointed out how alarmingly Putin-like it looked. This “Putin” kangaroo was spotted in the water, and a muscular kangaroo with wet fur is its own level of upsetting.
In case the muscles didn’t tip you off, kangaroos are incredibly strong. Did you not read the part where I said a 200-pound kangaroo named Roger likes to crush metal buckets for fun? Plus, their kicks can quite literally be deadly. According to National Geographic, a kick from a kangaroo is capable of crushing bone.
Perhaps it’s best we admire these oddly muscular beasts from a far, regardless of how weirdly seductive they may be sitting.