Life

The Gross Reason This Tinder Date Got Stuck In A Bathroom Window Will Scar You For Life

by Megan Grant

If you've ever thought you have the worst luck when it comes to dating, there's good/terrible news: the most awful of awful first dates you'll ever read about. You're welcome. In a nutshell, this woman on a Tinder date got stuck in a window after fishing out her own poo. No, really. I can't make this stuff up.

It started out normal enough. According to his account of the story on GoFundMe, Liam Smyth took his date to a Portuguese restaurant in Bristol, UK. Afterward, they went back to his apartment to, you know, *cough*, hang out and stuff. But a routine bathroom break turned into a nightmare when she returned from the loo and informed Smyth that she went #2 and then his toilet wouldn't flush. In a panic, she had reached into the toilet, grabbed the droppings, wrapped it in a tissue, and chucked it out the window.

PLOT TWIST. The windows, which open from the top, are constructed of two separate layers, and the poopsters fell in between them.

In a move that sounds more like a scene from a Jason Statham movie, she flipped upside down to squeeze in between the panes to retrieve the feces, with a little boost from Smyth. The mission was a success, and she handed the poo back to him for what I can only hope was a proper burial.

And then she got stuck in the window.

No, honestly. She was stuck. According to Smyth, she was so stuck that he called the fire department, who showed up to break the window and get her out.

The girl survived. The turd... may it rest in peace. The window? That's another story. Smyth created a GoFundMe page to help raise the funds to replace it — far exceeding what he was asking for and committing to splitting the rest between two charities. Also, there are pictures.

One would understandably assume that this crappy date (get it? heh...) would be the first and last these two had; but one would be wrong. Not only did Smyth and his lady meet up again to discuss the GoFundMe page, he even told Bristol Post that he'd be open to seeing her again! This guy's a keeper.

So, the next time you're lamenting an bad date, remember that you could've ended up inverted between two windows, grasping at dingleberries. Life isn't all that bad, now, is it?