This Woman’s Post For “Wedding Dress For Sale — Worn Once By Mistake!” Will Make You Laugh Until You Cry
Ernest Hemingway once (allegedly) wrote a novel in merely six words: "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." The line has been widely celebrated for saying so much in so few words, but it looks like Hemingway's got some competition: a recently divorced New Zealand woman recently advertised a "Wedding dress for sale - worn once by mistake!" in hopes of offloading her unlucky gown. The whole ad is hilarious, and the internet, obviously, is having itself a time with it.
The Original Poster, who has not been named, recently put her ad on Trademe, a New Zealand-based listing website, begging readers, "Please help remove this dress from my life, it no longer means anything to me." Not that the dress isn't a good buy, though apparently the 90kg of baggage she dropped—i.e., her "compulsive liar" husband—was not: "It is in excellent condition - unlike my marriage - pretty much brand new and ready for a legit wedding after a practice run back in 2013," she wrote. "This stunning off-white gown would fit a 12-16 as it has a lace up back so very versatile it comes with a certificate of authenticity and I have personally hand-washed the bad luck out of it!"
Here's the whole post:
Please help remove this dress from my life, it no longer means anything to me.It is in excellent condition - unlike my marriage - Pretty much brand new and ready for a legit wedding after a practise run back in 2013.This stunning off white gown would fit a 12-16 as it has a lace up back so very versatile it comes with a certificate of authenticity and I have personally hand-washed the bad luck out of it! More than welcome to come try on and give it a twirl to make sure it fits and suits you.Cannot provide measurements as this was custom made for a little girl who thought she deserved less than what she was worth and she is now a strong woman - cannot measure up.
It looks stunning on, enough so that it will distract you and your guests from the fact that you are marrying a compulsive liar. Also great evening wear if you enjoy a night out and want people to buy you drinks or would be an excellent outfit choice for house cleaning and dishes (if Disney role play is your thing).It is made from chiffon and is A-Line with side ruffles. It has an internal back strap (with being a strapless the added support to stay up alone is priceless) and has a beautiful belt added for a touch a sparkle. The back is lace tie so can be adjustable if you fluctuate in size which again is an added bonus!
I would ideally like over $300 for this dress, as this would pay for a Years gym member ship for me to loose the kilos I put on from such a miserable marriage - either that or a decent night out on the wines, both are needed - so make an offer!
Happy to also provide pictures of my shoes that I can chuck in for a good price, those aren't needed anymore either because I walked away with the feet I was born with and will keep moving forward with those (keeping the vail for the 'out of toilet paper' emergencys).
Please ask if you have any questions.
NOTE: Apologies for the photos some of these I have lost around 90kgs if baggage.
Though it's never particularly fun to watch a marriage crumble, the wordplay the OP uses to tie in marital woe to dress-selling is fun ("Cannot provide measurements as this was custom made for a little girl who thought she deserved less than what she was worth and she is now a strong woman - cannot measure up," is killing me), so at least she found some humor in the horror.
Unfortunately, the OP wasn't quite ready for the post to go viral, which, of course, it did. She's since made parts of it private, though she is still looking for buyers. "Sadly the NZ media have taken my responses and your questions on this auction and used them against our wishes as direct “quotations” from myself so for my safety these will no longer be viewed, I have declined media comment as the focus is the auction and moving in with my life :)" she wrote in an update on Thursday.
This is also not the first time someone's tried to get rid of their wedding dress with the "worn once by mistake" tagline. Last year, a woman in Nova Scotia posted an ad seeking a buyer for her own "wedding dress for sale - worn once by mistake," though her story sounds similar to the above OP's:
And just this week, a Twitter user snapped a photo of a note taped to an office refrigerator door in San Francisco, which also advertised a once-worn wedding dress:
Anyway, there are apparently quite a few used wedding dresses out there, though if you believe in jinxes, maybe splurge on one that's seen better times.