Following Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell's warning that newly elected Democrats should be careful when it comes to "presidential harassment," comedian Trevor Noah issued a "presidential harassment" PSA for new members of Congress. After all, Congress keeping tabs on POTUS is "a serious issue in America," according to Noah.
"If you’re watching this, you just won back the House of Representatives. Congrats, socialists," the video begins. "But before you take charge, here’s what you need to know about presidential harassment. For starters, don't try to touch the president's intimate areas, like his tax returns. That's a private area that's reserved for the president's wife and his Russian investors."
When Democrats officially take control of the House in January, they'll have the power to subpoena President Donald Trump regarding Special Counsel Robert Mueller's investigation, as well as the tax returns he never made public and his move to separate children from their parents at the U.S.-Mexico border. And party leaders reportedly plan to immediately get to work investigating Trump and ensuring key documents related to the Mueller probe aren't destroyed.
But Noah had a few warnings of his own about what he referred to as the "subpoena cannon."
Noah actually agreed with McConnell that Democrats need to be strategic about how they investigate the president. He explained that Democrats shouldn't start the next Congress with guns blazing, ready to investigate every aspect of the White House, because the GOP will probably retaliate. (Take, for example, the president's tweet on Monday alleging that the "prospect of presidential harassment by the Dems" is already negatively affecting Wall Street.)
Still, that didn't stop Noah from making fun of Republican leaders' use of the term "presidential harassment," and the training video went on to outline more ways new members of Congress can avoid making the president uncomfortable.
"Watch his body language to see if he becomes protective of his space. In this way, the president is a lot like a rabid raccoon," the training instructor in the video says. He adds that this careful attention to how the president is feeling only goes one way.
"Finally, do let him harass you. And believe me, he will harass you," the video says. "That may seem unfair, but think of the president as a stripper. He can touch you, but you can't touch him — even if you fell in love with her six years ago."
Creating a comfortable work environment for the president is easy, the instructor tells new Democratic members of Congress, "as long as you just do whatever he wants."
The prospect of Democrats ramping up investigations into Trump's actions both on the campaign trail and in the Oval Office inevitably brings up questions of impeachment. But, don't worry, Noah's PSA gave newly elected Democrats an easy way to remember what they should do about impeachment in order to avoid "presidential harassment."
"If you ever wonder, 'Should you impeach the president?,'" the training instructor tells Democrats headed to Washington, "think of this helpful acronym: 'N' as in 'no.'"