What Do People Fantasize About During Sex? 17 Millennials On What They're Thinking In Bed
During sex, we play with the boundaries of our mind. And, fantasizing during sex is a sign that we have a healthy and fulfilling sense of our sexuality, according to research conducted by the Kinsey Institute
For me, my mind during sex is focused on the eroticism of my experience — it's my most cherished erogenous zone. I close my eyes and allow myself to become in touch with my imagination in order to arouse my mind, body, and soul. I feel lost in the beautiful experience I'm sharing with a partner and I think of our synchronicity and how I can bring us closer.
I engage all of my senses. I feel in tune with their body — their smell, their touch, their kisses, their heartbeat. Their moans awaken me and arouse my senses. I think of how my partner is experiencing pleasure in the moments that we are sharing and how I can satisfy them. I think of how I can make my partner feel special and how I can elevate our intimacy to new heights.
But not everyone stays in the moment during sex — a lot of us get distracted and have trouble tuning into our body. "If you're always worried about what you need to do during the day, try jotting down a to do list before you get it on. You'll get those worries out of your mind and down on the paper before you even begin," Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure, tells Bustle.. "Focus on the positive. If you're worried about your body, then think about the parts that make you feel the most sexy. What's at least one body part you love? Focus on that and flaunt it."
I spoke with millennial men and women to gain more insight on what they think of during sex.
1. Thomas, 25
"If I'm trying to last longer, I think of something unsexy and neutral.. I think of toasters."
2. Amy, 24
"I just enjoy the moment. I think of what's happening."
3. Utang, 25
4. Alec, 26
"I think of how I can make my partner feel special."
5. Krissy, 25
"Do I look hot at this angle?"
6. Matthew, 27
"Trying to figure out how to give it to her as hard as I can."
7. Daniel, 26
"I think of how I can make her come."
8. Stacey, 27
9. Rory, 24
"I think of how to make my body look curvy and sexy."
10. Dustin, 27
"I think of how their body feels on mine."
11. Andrea, 25
"I think of how to make the sex feel romantic and intimate."
12. Brenna, 26
"I close my eyes and I fantasize about being dominated or I think of the ways that he's dominating me, like if he's on top or we're in doggy."
13. Lorena, 24
"If I'm enjoying it I try to focus on my partner and how to turn them on and make it more pleasurable. If the sex is bad I think of anything else — what I'm having for dinner later, what I'll wear the next day..."
14. Emily, 24
"I'm not always present in the moment... I usually am thinking of a fantasy I have or a past experience."
15. Kyle, 25
"I really think about the actual act more than the feeling a lot of the time. That really helps me to focus on what I’m actually doing."
16. Ally, 26
"I imagine someone else is watching."
17. Mary, 30
"I've been trying to stay more present in bed, so lately I've been focusing on how everything is feeling."
There you have it — people think of pretty much everything during sex. If you're getting too distracted during sex, remember that sex encompasses far more than physical pleasure. Our ability to tap into our imagination and our desires can be a crucial component of our experience.