As someone with a particularly large extended family, I've been to a lot of weddings in my time. I've always felt like the "speak now, or forever hold your peace" part was inserted in there as a kind of courtesy — of course no one is going to object. Otherwise, why would they be invited to or choose to attend that wedding in the first place? But according to Reddit, I am very, very wrong: apparently, many people do object at weddings, for all sorts of reasons, and it can go a variety of different ways. Some good, some bad, and some incredibly ugly.
I truly can't imagine what I would do if someone were to stand up and object in the middle of my service. Would I kick them out and proceed with the ceremony? Or would I allow them to say their piece, as it is technically their right? The thought of having to stand idly by while someone explains to your partner, family, and friends, all the reasons you should break up is truly humiliating.
Luckily, that's not something I need to worry about right now. Instead, I'll just sit back, crack up, and cringe at some of these painfully true accounts of when "I do's" turn into "Wait, maybe I don'ts" below.
1. You're On Trial
This is kind of funny, but if it actually happened at a wedding I was attending, I'm not sure i'd think so,
2. Southern Charm
I would totally lose my cool if this happened at my wedding.
3. An Affair To Forget
Ouch, this one is rough.
4. Don't Be Like Dave
Wait, but Dave sounds like kind of a badass.
5. The Fortune Teller
Damn. I really wish he had just listened to you.
6. You May Now Watch The Groom Kiss The Bride
Wait, that's pretty epic.
7. He's A Lizard, Harry!
This is such a weird prank to play, sorry Dad.
8. Motorcycle Diaries
This is by far the most manageable objection I've heard thus far.
9. Do It For The Story
This is such a strange reason to get married, but kind of a good story... I guess?
10. April Fools Wedding Day
OK, I have serious questions for your stepdad. And your poor, poor mom!
11. Keep It In The Family
Is that how they do things in Canada?
So if you're ever considering objecting at a wedding, as a joke or even as a grand romantic gesture, remember how serious a vow of marriage truly is. By taking a step into the aisle and declaring your true feelings, you are taking away a few minutes of someone else's forever memories — even if it's for a good story. All I'm saying is: think before you object, folks.