A Practical Guide To Talking About Migraines When Dating

The Hollywood meet-cute is fun in theory. In practice? Dating looks more like awkward small talk, group chat recaps, and unhinged dating app screenshots than sparks flying across a candlelit room. Ask anyone actively dating how it’s going and you’re far more likely to get a groan than a grin. Now add migraines into the mix.

For people who live with migraine — a neurological condition that goes far beyond “just a bad headache” — dating can feel especially complicated. Plans can change fast, energy levels fluctuate, and what sounds like a fun, low-pressure date can quickly turn into a trigger minefield.

“Migraines can make dating and social life way more complicated than most people realize,” says Dr. Mina Mufti, a neurologist, headache specialist, and migraine educator who regularly shares content about living with migraine online. “Attacks can come out of nowhere, so it’s hard to plan ahead. A lot of people end up canceling at the last minute, which can easily be misunderstood as flakiness or lack of interest. On top of that, so many typical dates — coffee, drinks, loud restaurants, crowded places — can actually trigger or worsen migraines.”

Many people who experience migraines also deal with chronic fatigue, brain fog, irritability, and anxiety about when the next attack might hit, Mufti adds — all of which can make staying present, emotionally available, and socially energized feel like a tall order.

Still, dating with migraines isn’t a lost cause. According to Laurel House, a dating, relationship, and behavioral dynamics expert who also lives with chronic migraine, clear communication can make all the difference. Ahead are five practical, real-life ways to talk about migraines while dating — without turning it into a disclaimer or apology tour.

1. Practice Clear Communication Early On

Early dating is about establishing connection and communicating the three Ws — who you are, what experiences shaped you, and how you will be in a relationship moving forward, says House.

“For migraine sufferers, [your migraine experience] is relevant context, not premature disclosure,” House says. “Migraines usually come up naturally within the first one or two dates as part of how you live, work, and take care of yourself. Don’t open with it like a warning label, but also don’t wait until someone is attached or until you’re in pain and trying to explain it with a foggy brain.”

2. Lead With Vulnerability

For Libby, 39, dating with migraines became easier once she stopped treating them like a secret she had to protect.

“On my first date with my husband in 2016, I mentioned suffering from migraines,” Libby explains. “I didn't typically share this information so early, but it came up naturally, and he handled it really well. He shared his experience taking care of his mom when she had migraines early in his childhood. These memories were endearing and gave me an early sense of his caring nature.”

They’ve been married for seven years now, and in retrospect, Libby is glad they discussed migraines on their first date. It indicated to her just how comfortable and vulnerable they felt together, which later on, led to marriage.

3. Let Your Symptoms Weed Out Unfit Partners

“Honestly, migraines are kind of the ultimate early litmus test,” says Leanne, 29. Single and actively dating, Leanne has noticed that people’s reactions to her migraines tend to reveal a lot, very quickly. “I’ve had some pretty strange reactions from men who got upset when I had to cancel because of a migraine,” she says. “But that just meant I saw the red flags way earlier than I would have otherwise.”

Leah, 46, takes an even more upfront approach: she includes her status as a “chronic migraine warrior” directly in her dating profile. It gives people a heads-up, and helps filter out anyone who isn’t capable of empathy before things even start.

4. Share Your Triggers, And How A Partner Can Help

Talking about migraines doesn’t have to stop at symptoms. Sharing what actually helps can turn a potentially awkward moment into a bonding one.

When Hannah, 35, was dating her now husband, she experienced a migraine pretty early on in their relationship. She opened up to him about her symptoms, and together, they came up with a plan for her future migraines.

“The minute I experience a migraine, I take my meds, grab a [drink] with electrolytes and go into a dark room until the meds kick in and the pain subsides,” she explains. “He checks in every now and then and offers to get anything else I need.”

5. Don’t Overapologize

One thing experts stress again and again: migraines are not something you need to apologize for.

“[Migraine is] a medical condition, not a personality flaw,” Mufti explains. “You don’t need to give your full health history on the first date, but telling someone early on can help if you do end up cancelling.”

Libby agrees. Refusing to let migraines dictate her dating life led her to meeting her now-husband.

“If it’s the right person for you, they will understand,” Libby says. “And if you’re upfront with your experience with migraines, they’ll be better able to support you.”

Presented by BDG Studios