4 Simple Shifts That Improved My Life Without Overhauling It

When I was a kid and my mother tried something she didn’t absolutely love, she’d sigh, shrug, and announce, “Well, it wasn’t life-changing.” As a child, I thought that was a pretty high bar to expect something as humble as, say, a lasagna or a pottery class to clear, but as an adult, I have to admit I’m starting to relate to her hopeful delusion.

I mean, who among us couldn’t use a transformative life hack? We’re expected to rise and grind, devote ourselves to work like we don’t have personal lives, nurture our personal lives like we don’t have to work, find our people, grow our savings, build our credit, and practice self-care with the discipline of an influencer with a trust fund and a 20-step morning routine. And that’s not even accounting for kids or pets, life’s most labor-intensive accessories. I want a cheat code! Anything that promises to be life-changing turns my head now, like I’m the guy in the distracted boyfriend meme.

A neck cream that claims to “erase” wrinkles overnight? Add to cart. A smoothie for a gut microbiome glow-up? Sure, why not? Self-help bestsellers that promise to hack my habits and finally turn my chaotic life into a sparkling oasis of peace? Let them!

Of course, it’s not that easy. Over time (and through countless missteps and abandoned bullet journals), I’ve learned that making my life calmer and more manageable is all about small, consistent shifts in mindset and behavior. And this is great news, because it makes meaningful change — actual, gradual life-changing change — accessible to all of us. Here are four ways I’ve adjusted my expectations, with surprisingly effective results.

1. Realistic routines start small — like, really small.

I have a friend who wanted to start working out, but the prospect of getting up every morning to go for a run or walk felt too daunting; she knew she wouldn’t be able to stick with it. So instead, she thought about what she could commit to. Working out twice a week? No, too much pressure. Once a week? Nope. What if she failed? Finally, she landed on getting up two mornings a week and simply putting on her running shoes. That’s it. Just the shoes, zero exercise required. Once she proved to herself that she could do it consistently, taking a walk felt like a natural next step, and slowly she started to do what she set out to do in the first place, without feeling overwhelmed. Whatever habit or ritual you want to change, don’t be afraid to kick it off with the tiniest, easiest commitment you can make.

2. You can meditate while doing anything.

If you’re like me, the words “meditation” and “mindfulness” bring to mind a serene monk or yogi sitting cross-legged, eyes closed, as soft wind-chimes — or maybe even a gentle gong — sound in the distance. I spent most of my life believing that meditation meant studying techniques, carving out time, staying completely still, and clearing my mind of all thoughts. But I was wrong. Meditation is simply being present in whatever moment you’re in. Standing in line at the post office? Look up from your doomscrolling, pause that podcast, and take in your surroundings. You are meditating, my friend! You can do it whenever and wherever you are, no external tranquility required.

3. Prioritize habits that make you happy over never-ending chores.

I used to start every day by tidying my house. My rationale was that since I work from home, I needed a clean, serene space to focus. But cleaning and organizing would always take longer than planned, and by the time I was done, I’d used the best hours of my energy on a thankless task. I decided to start prioritizing other things: writing, going to the gym, reading, and seeing friends during the day while my kids were at school. Then, if I had time after all of that, I could wipe down the kitchen and vacuum the living room. The punchline? My house somehow looked exactly the same as it did when I used to spend all of my time cleaning. And I felt a lot more fulfilled.

4. Become radical about rest.

“No rest for the weary.” “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” “No days off!” In our nonstop, hustle-obsessed world, we have countless sayings to motivate ourselves to keep going, even when we’re burned out. Lifemaxxing and self-optimization are not just hobbies, they’re entire industries. If you aren’t grinding, you’re “bed-rotting,” which makes it sound like resting your body literally leads to decay. But listen: What if we want to stop feeling like our value is tied to our productivity? Or — even crazier — what if we could start to see intentional rest as productive? I’ve started to specifically set aside time (anywhere from 15 minutes to a whole day) for rest in my schedule, and even though it felt odd or even indulgent at first, it’s been nothing short of cathartic. It’s like personally clapping back at all of the toxic cultural conditioning that’s given us permanent under-eye bags and Sunday scaries. Rest can become a radical act of self-care if you treat it like it matters. So what are you waiting for? Go lie down.

Presented by BDG Studios