Sometimes, it's hard to figure out the perfect quip for an annoying situation. We see people on television do it so effortlessly, and it gets to the point where I wish my whole life could be scripted just like my favorite shows. If I could pick the optimum level of sass, sarcasm, and sharpness of one character's insults to have as my own, there is no contest. Paris Geller has that perfect blend I truly desire. The Gilmore Girls badass definitely deserves to be every girl's hero, because she was so much more than just one of Rory's best friends. Paris is smart, funny, honest, and determined, and while at times she can be a little too biting, that's the kind of sass I need to display in my life from time to time. In fact, Paris Geller's greatest insults, jokes, and honest opinions are so relatable that they can definitely be used in everyday life.
Paris is the type of character that can shut down a dumb moment with one quick word, or even a look at times. But boy did she also really appreciate a well-crafted insult. I mean, kudos to the Gilmore Girls' creators and writers, because they really did make some of the best-written moments in recent television history. Paris could be talking to Rory, a lover, her family, or a random person she encountered in daily life who was doing something stupid, and would find the absolute best way to really put them in their place. So if you run into these everyday situations, take comfort in knowing that Paris can help you figure out exactly what to say.
1. When Someone Asks A Stupid Question
A hilarious burn that will also make you think. Classic Paris.
2. When Someone Asks Too Many Stupid Questions
"Why does my head feel so light and yet not float away, Paris?"
Yep. She really said that.
3. When Someone Is Being Too Clingy
"If you need some love, get a hooker."
Another solid burn from Ms. Geller.
4. When Someone Asks For Your Help, But Won't Take It
Paris does not mince words.
5. When Someone Doesn't Know A Simple Answer
"That's OK. That knowledge isn't really required for the retail doughnut distribution industry."
Perk up, folks.
6. When Someone Asks Your Opinion About A Book You Hated
"A tragic waste of paper."
Perhaps a certain "mom porn" book series could fall under this category?
7. When Things Always Magically Work Out For Someone Else, But Not For You
"Well, how nice it must be to be you. Maybe someday I'll stumble into a Disney movie and suddenly be transported into your body, and after living there awhile, I'll finally realize the beauty of myself."
OK, sometimes I feel this way too, P.
8. When You Want Your Feminist Flag To Fly High
"Of course. We’re girls, so we must be fighting over a boy. You sexist, white-haired …"
Paris doesn't even need to finish that sentence to land it.
9. When An Annoying Person Hits On You
10. When Someone Is Being Too Boring For Their Own Good
Paris probably wouldn't make a great camp counselor.
11. This One Is Self-Explanatory
Paris has never lied about who she is. And who she is someone who has absolutely no patience for your nonsense right now.
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