If Bartenders Were Honest With Their Patrons

It's actually pretty hard for me to get close to people who've never worked in the service industry. I recently went out for dinner with a friend who snapped at the waiter to refill her water, and I personally considered leaping off the balcony where we were seated. As a general rule, I just assume all service industry people waiting on me also hate me because when I was a barista/server/bartender, I hated everyone. But of course we'd/they'd never tell you. Because if bartenders were honest like they are in this BuzzFeed video, we'd all drink exclusively at home.

You know, I do believe there exist some people who actually enjoy their job and want to talk to people. As a barista/server/bartender, I didn't despise talking with absolutely all of my customers. Some of them I even "dated" (emphasis on quotes), others I honestly befriended. See? It isn't all bad stuff. (But it is mostly bad stuff.)

Bars are dark because they're full of secrets — both those of the staff and patrons alike. Bartenders can tell a lot about a patron by the drink they order, their visiting regularity, the people they bring with them up to the bar, coaster usage patterns, etc. They're fountains of wisdom. Quiet wisdom. Here's some honest thoughts of your (yes, YOUR) local bartender:

Feelings on requests for recommendations

And if they're specific, it's probably one of the cocktails in a pricy tier.

Feelings on tequila shots

Honestly, through bartending I learned using expensive liquor in sugary cocktails was a totally wasted effort. Unless the effort is to flaunt wealth. But please keep this in mind if you catch a babe ordering margaritas with Patron. They dumb.

Feelings on flirting with patrons

Spoiler: we/they almost never mean it. Almost everything resembling anything remotely positive — politeness, interest in photos on your phone, skimpy clothes — are all creative ploys to amp up tip potential.

Feeling afraid to ever visit another bar again? Not yet? Just wait:

Images: YouTube(4)