How To Have Better Public Sex

Every summer, newspapers overflow with titillating tales of couples who just can't seem to keep it in their pants. Spurred on by the heat or a vacation rendezvous, these (normally) law abiding citizens engage in public sex on golf courses, on beaches, in the woods, and in the bathrooms of fine establishments with little care for who sees them (or who calls the cops on them).

Earlier this month, there was an uproar in the posh vacation spot of Montauk, New York when locals reported an outbreak of side-of-the-road sexing by so-called "hipsters." And on the other side of the pond, more and more Brits are being caught in the act by police than ever. So what gives? Are people having more public sex, or does our thirst for these steamy stories cause such incidents to receive wider circulation? Whatever the case may be, public sex is one kind of sex you might consider trying at least once in your life — if you haven't already.

For those who have traditionally reserved their action for the bedroom, there are a few things to be aware of before you indulge in outdoor adventures. You may not always know when the mood will take you, but if you have an inkling you'll be getting down with some public sex, here are six tips to keep you safe and satisfied:

1. Always Have Lube On Hand

Sex outside the confines of a bedroom doesn't always allow for requisite foreplay. If you're slick as a slip 'n' slide 24/7 more power to you, but some ladies need time to get adequately warmed up, and time is not on your side when you're trying to get in a quickie before the lifeguard catches you. The solution? Carry a pocket-sized packet or bottle of lube with you at all times, and you'll be in and out in a flash.

2. Wear Skirts, Dresses Or Loose-Fitting Attire

If your jam is exhibitionism, then you probably want to be seen doing the deed totally nude, but for most, modesty does come into play. This is where skirts and dresses you can hitch up for easy access come in handy — or even pants that aren't skin tight.

3. Bring Protection

When your partner in crime is packing a penis, condoms are important for two reasons. One, safe sex is always a must, and two, so is keeping clean. You do not want to have to deal with the, uh, "liquid aftermath" when you're trying to quickly get dressed and sneak away unscathed. That said, a towel can work wonders, too.

4. Be Aware Of Who Might Be Nearby

Even if you're a total IDGAF badass, it's pretty awful to traumatize children, get chased by an angry parent, or get arrested for engaging in a sex act near a school for christ's sake. Don't be stupid, make sure you're as far away from anyone under 18 as you can possibly be.

5. Keep Your Moans To Yourself

If you fancy a trip to your local precinct, by all means, scream your head off. However, if your desire is a mutually-satisfying, stealth encounter, keeping your mouth shut might behoove you. Or, you can always put a sock in it and moan as loud as you like.

6. Don't Be A Litterbug

It really sucks to step on a used condom while hiking through a scenic overlook or laying out on the sand. Pretend every public sex act is in a national forest, and take your trash out with you, leaving your location as it was before you came.

Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.

Images: Tamara Alvarez/Flickr; Giphy (6)