Full disclosure — this is the first season I’ve seen of Bachelor In Paradise or any of the Bachelor offshoots (no Bachelor Pad for me either) and boy, am I loving it. The whole franchise is at the point where it is really self-aware of its place in the national canon and where it loves to make fun of itself. Super refreshing, considering how seriously the show took itself at one point. Case in point: Bachelor In Paradise ’s new intro, which is completely inspired by cheesy 1980s shows like The Love Boat.
Of course, the intro is set to Loverboy’s “Almost Paradise” and features all of the contestants and even Chris Harrison as “The Host” frolicking on the beach. It’s really hard to pinpoint the most amazing parts of said intro, but I’m sure as hell going to try. I mean, there was a whole man pyramid and everyone doing these crazy fake smiles and “wa wa wee wa” sunglasses flips, you guys! What else could I possibly need in this whole universe? Though I’m not sure I can fully express the cheesy, meta wonder that is the new intro for Bachelor In Paradise, here are a few of my favorite moments.
Chris Harrison Reading His Own Book
I mean, of course Chris Harrison is reading the book that he “wrote” and shills every chance he gets on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.
A Pyramid Of Former Bachelorette Men
They really need to work on their stability, but I’ll give them a B for effort.
Jared’s Cheesy Smile
Despite his young age, Jared seems to have this 1980s intro thing down pat. Check out that cheesy smile! Probably watched a lot of Nick at Nite.
Ashley I.’s Mermaid
Ashley I. says that her princess is Jasmine, but there are some serious Ariel vibes going on here.
Dan’s Baywatch-Worthy Walk
Clare was told that Dan looked like Hugh Jackman and now I can’t unsee it. Especially because that wet walk through the water was leading man-worthy.
Ashley S.’ Coconut Catch
Do you think that Ashley S. will abandon all onion/pomegranate debates in favor of coconut/mango or coconut/papaya? Only time will tell.
Jillian’s Driftwood Shoulder Press
We know, producers. We know. Jillian is the fit one! I’d like to see her do something that’s not reality to her impressive physicality, but hey, at least she’s known for something.
Watch the intro here and relive the hilarity for yourself!
Images: ABC/Bob D’Amico; Screengrab/ABC (7)