It's no secret that the fight for the Iron Throne on Game Of Thrones has gotten rather bloody. From sword fights to poisonings to burning people alive, the citizens of Westeros show no mercy when it comes to eliminating their adversaries. Still, death is a bit extreme when it comes to dealing with day-to-day disagreements and altercations — so, for those more trivial matters, the characters of Game of Thrones have perfected the art of insults.
Though those living in medieval times may not have been known for their decorum, one would have assumed that at least the highborn citizens of Westeros would be more tactful when it comes to expressing their grievances. And yet, it seems like the Lannisters who are arguably the most powerful family in the seven kingdoms are the craftiest when it comes to insulting others. As Tyrion Lannister once told Jon Snow:
Let me give you some advice bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.
I’m not saying that people should go around insulting one another — however, should you be insulted and need to come up with a response, here are some ways to give as good as you got, Game of Thrones-style.
Tyrion: “One more word and I hit you again.”
I in no way advocate violence... but sometimes, a slap is worth a thousand words.
Bringing Up Incest
Cersei: “You’ve never taken [ruling] seriously. You haven’t, and Jaime hasn’t. It’s all fallen on me."Tyrion: “As has Jaime, repeatedly, according to Stannis Baratheon.”
Tyrion's family is constantly putting him down because of his small stature. But, he's never afraid to point out their dirty little secrets.
Tell It Like It Is
Tyrion Lannister: “I’m not questioning your honor, Lord Janos. I’m denying its existence.”
Sometimes, it's best to tell people exactly how you feel about them.
Cersei: "If it weren't for my children, I would have thrown myself from the highest tower in the Red Keep. They're the reason I'm alive."Tyrion: "Even Joffrey?"
Joffrey was certainly the kind of person that only a mother could love — and at times, it seemed like even Cersei couldn't tolerate him.
Know Your Facts (And Use 'Em)
Jaime: "Three victories don't make you a conqueror."Robb: "It's better than three defeats."
Some people may try to question you when you're doing well. However, coming back with cold hard facts is a quick way to silence any naysayers.
Let Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Tywin: "Any man who must say, 'I am the king' is no true king."
It's always interesting to see who is actually putting in work and who is simply talking.
Question "The Chosen One"
Renly: "Born amidst salt and smoke... Is he a ham?"
Mastering insults is knowing that even the Lightbringer can be knocked down a peg.
State The Facts
Cersei: "If you ever call me sister again, I'll have you strangled in your sleep."
All you have to do is show people who you are, and it's up to them to believe it.
Margaery: "Can we bring you anything to eat or drink? I wish we had some wine for you, it’s a bit early in the day for us."
Throwing shade is the act of denouncing someone publicly, but in a calm and polite fashion.
Deliver A Subtle Read
Ramsay: "I’ve been naturalized by a royal decree."Sansa: “By Tommen Baratheon? Another bastard.”
Insults don't always have to be harsh. The art of being able to subtly insult someone is something that must be mastered over time.Though we live in a world that's not quite as harsh as Westeros, we can still learn a thing or two about throwing insults from our favorite Westerosi characters. After all, it never hurts to be prepared.
Images: Helen Sloan/HBO; Giphy (10)