I'm going to be real honest and say that I'm not half as interested in sneaking alcohol into places as I am in owning one of these cute hidden flasks, because simply owning one would make me feel like an adorable badass. I will also say outright that I am not advocating for underage drinking here (you do you, y'all), but I am 100 percent advocating for a universe where I don't have to pay ten dollars for a stale Bud Light at an alumni football game. This is America, dammit. I should be able to get turnt and watch my team repeatedly make a mockery of sports at the SAME TIME, and I shouldn't have to pay the equivalent of my future child's college tuition to make it happen. (Sorry not sorry, Andrew Garfield Jr.)
Look, I get that you probably already own a flask and are pretty #boss about hiding it in your purse or your boobs or whatever the ~crazy kids~ are doing these days. But these flasks right here are not just an investment in your booze drankin', but rather an investment in your own coolness. Just think about how smug you're gonna feel impressing your friends with THESE babies:
1. Infinity Flask Scarf
Real sauce: you were going to have to buy one of these anyway, because it is an infinity scarf and the power of the PSL compels you. Now you can use fashion to get CRUNK.
Silver Hooks, $26.99.
2. Personalized Flask In A Book
You're basically the Princess Belle of day drinking.
3. Flask Garter
Every day is your wedding day when you successfully sneak booze past concert security!
4. Camera Flask
Giving a ~brand new~ kind of filter to all your most 'gram worthy moments.
5. A Gigantic Wine Purse
Boxed wine was so 2014 anyway.
6. Fancy Flask Bangle
I mean, if you can afford this, you can probably afford overpriced booze. But sneaking vodka into your high school reunion? That's ~priceless~.
Cynthia Rowley, $225.
7. Wine Rack Flask Bra
Boobs: not just for hiding your phone anymore.
Gag Gifts, 34.96
Disclaimer on this last one — it's not cute. But it is the most effective form of booze smuggling I can imagine. Behold.
8. SUPER SECRET TAMPON FLASKS
Even if they figure out our game, nobody's gonna call you out. I mean. Look at them. God bless America.
Images: Etsy(2); Gag Gifts; Spencer's; Cynthia Rowley; Firebox; Silver Hooks; Amazon