If there's one thing I've learned from 23 years of obsessively watching nature documentaries, it's that kangaroos are terrifying, overly-muscular beings that can (and probably will) kick your teeth out. Animals are rarely as adorable in real life as they were in Winnie the Pooh... unless they're Doodlebug, the orphaned baby kangaroo, who was recently photographed cuddling a teddy bear.
Let me repeat myself: There is a picture in which an orphaned baby kangaroo named Doodlebug is cuddling a flippin' teddy bear. Did you just fall out of your chair from a cuteness overload? No? Don't get too cocky just yet. It's coming.
No matter how scary you know kangaroos to be, nobody stands a chance against that kind of cuteness firepower. Unsurprisingly, the photograph has gone viral after a Australian political adviser Tim Beshara tweeted it earlier this week; currently, it has been retweeted more than 2,000 times, and the photograph has been featured in the Daily Mail and Metro (who unfortunately beat me to the "loves his teddy bear beary much" pun).
If you're wondering why everyone is freaking out over a little old kangaroo, you need to reevaluate your priorities to give baby animals the significance they deserve. In case you need a little convincing, allow me to introduce Doodlebug:
SWEET BABY JESUS THAT IS CUTE. I think I just lost control of my body.
Thank goodness there's only one — OH LORD IS THAT ANOTHER DOODLEBUG PHOTO?
Beshara told Metro that the orphaned eastern grey kangaroo could have been separated from his mother for two reasons: either his mother died, or Doodlebug fell out of her pouch because he's a clumsy widdle baby.
"[Kangaroos] seem to respond to the toys much in the same way as a toddler. They treat it as a companion," he added.
If you survived that, I'm out of ideas. Also, you're probably a robot. You should get that checked out.