10 Irrational Fears Single People Have, Like Not Being Able To Meet The Delivery Minimum When You're Ordering Food

Most single people have fears — both rational and not — about the state of their love life. You might be calm, cool and collected about being single — but I’d happily bet that every once in a while, you find yourself worrying about the most ridiculous things that could happen if you do, in fact, never meet someone. Gulp. When I first moved into my current apartment, I tried hanging up this fancy wall collage on my own, and after a few of the frames fell off, I gave in and let a handyman (found via Task Rabbit) come in and do the actual drilling for me. Why? In my irrational single state of mind, I was confident that i the middle of the night, a frame would fall and kill me. Did I mention the wall collage was nowhere near my bed?

But that’s not it. I also worry about having to settle one day because there’s no one left to pick from, I consider if I’ll actually ever be a homeowner if I don’t have someone to split the mortgage with, and yeah, that all of my friends will get married, have babies and move away and I’ll find myself alone in New York, wondering where the years went.

While you can’t make those all go away in the time it takes you to decide if that Tinder date was worth it, what you can do is get a laugh out of these real irrational fears that probably never crossed your mind:

1. Alisha, 31

“I’m a freelancer, and I have SO been looking forward to the day where having a spouse would give me that great tax write-off. I’m so afraid that day will never happen and I’ll always be my only dependent. I mean, c’mon being in a relationship is definitely worth the tax benefits!”

2. Aurora, 26

“Many of my friends in relationships like to hear about the casual encounters, friends-with-benefits and otherwise unordinary sex I have as a single lady. But I’ll tell you, while it’s hot sometimes, I miss consistent sex with someone I care about — so you can actually get to know each other’s bodies and get better. I’m afraid I’ll be stuck with whiskey dicks forever.”

3. Sarah, 30

“So if I don’t get married, I would still like to have children. But I’ll have to work to support said children… so what if I can’t afford the nanny?!”

4. Anna, 26

“I’m afraid that I’ll always have to travel by myself because I’ll never meet someone cool enough to travel with. Not asking for a diamond guys, just for you to bust out your passport and hop a flight to Italy.”

5. Nikki, 25

“I love to cook and I love to try new recipes, but it’s kind of boring eating by yourself all the time. My roommates are nice, but I’d like to be able to make delicious meals for myself and a partner.”

6. Laura, 27

“I appreciate the wedding invites I receive where I have the option of a plus one… but it also gives me anxiety. It’s strange to show up at so many weddings with different dates or by yourself, no? I’d love to have on consistent date for all of them!”

7. Patricia, 33

“I’m afraid of choking or injuring myself in some way and not having anyone there to save me! You know, Liz Lemon style!”

8. Heather, 34

“I know folks in relationships like those times when they do have a huge bed to sleep in all by themselves… but I’ve been doing that for years and I’d love to have someone to share it with. Sleeping alone forever sounds… terrible.”

9. Michelle, 29

“I’m consistently one egg roll away from the delivery minimum when I’m ordering food. I really don’t need that extra egg roll, and if I had a guy, he would definitely help me be able to order whenever I want to. I’m afraid that I’ll always have that anxiety when ordering in.”

10. Laura, 27

“I’m doing all that I can to stay looking young because if I don’t get married in the next 10 years, things will start to sag, wrinkle and gray. I’m worried that by the time that day gets here, I won’t feel beautiful in my wedding photos. Vain? Yep — and not sorry!”

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