Entertainment

Please Welcome Back Ali Lohan, World

by Alanna Bennett

We have more opinions about the Lohan family than we probably should as people who have never met the Lohan family but still, we watched Living Lohan back in the day and it left us feeling weirdly protective of Lindsay Lohan's younger sister, Ali, for whom fame was less of a dream and more of a family mandated desperately clawed-for destiny. Which is why we have some mixed feelings about Ali Lohan's attempts to jump-start her music career, which she demonstrated in a new YouTube video.

Lohan looks a little different than she did when she was last in the limelight — whether that's the result of plastic surgery, altered brow care, or general aging is up for your interpretation. She's also just started a brand new YouTube account, and her first video is one explaining her nerves pertaining to said channel and that the reason behind it is that she's been encouraged by her family to "showcase her voice."

The video itself is filmed like a creepy old carnival ad, and the whole mise-en-scene just screams a scenario in which Free People and Instagram got black-out drunk and had a baby. As for how her voice is, well, you decide.

Honestly, the thing that keeps distracting us is that this all feels very Gypsy to us. We can practically picture Lindsay and Ali singing "If Mama Were Married" as Lindsay bemoans the state of her career and Ali gears up to attempt to start hers. Dina Lohan, meanwhile, is backstage wondering why it's taking so damn long to get to "Rose's Turn."

This has been your fill of Broadway/reality-star references for the day. Proceed to watch Middle Child Lohan belt her stuff, followed by an "If Mama Were Married" video because, why the hell not.