What No One Tells You About Going Down On A Woman

by Emma McGowan

You'd think that being a woman, giving oral sex to another girl would be easy. You know where all the parts are, how they work, and you've had people go down on you, so it shouldn't be too hard to figure out, right? Wrong! As a bisexual woman I can tell you that blow jobs are way easier than cunnilingus. While there are, of course, lots of different ways to give a blow job (and every guy is different) the basic mechanics are not too hard to figure out, mainly because guy parts are all on the outside. If giving head to a guy is like scaling a mountain, eating a girl out is like taking a dive into a dark, wet cavern in near-to-total darkness.

Which makes it sound terrifying and kind of gross — not at all my intention. Giving oral sex to another woman is rewarding in ways that are completely different from going down on a guy, not the least of which is the number ways that it's different. (I mean, at least for mostly-straight bi girls like me. I'm gonna guess that the differentness is not a factor for most lesbians.) Getting up close and personal with another woman's body is, frankly, pretty awesome. You get to see not only what lady bits look like from a perspective other than a mirror but also you get to experience all of the things that a woman's body does when it's aroused. Trust me: Awesome.

While most of us go into our first BJ experience with a little knowledge under our belts — mainly because high school girls openly giggle about and discuss blow jobs — I definitely didn't know what to expect the first time I went down on a girl. Here are some of the surprising things that no one tells you.

1. Your Mouth And Jaw Will Get Tired — Quickly

But for real though. Holding your mouth open and moving your tongue around — fast — leads to very rapid mouth fatigue. Solution: Let your fingers take over for awhile and give your mouth a little rest.

2. There's A Lot Less Space Down There Than You'd Expect

There are a couple of areas that usually need attention and, honestly, attending to everything can get crowded. Think about it: You need to get a head (complete with chin) and probably a hand into an area that's like, the size of a fist. Get ready for some creative stretching, kids, because shit is about to gymnastic.

3. Finger Cramps Are Real, Y'all

A lot of ladies like a little fingering with their oral sex and that "come hither" motion inside her body can wear out your digits.

4. It's About To Get Really Messy

If you're doing it right, there will be a whole bunch of spit and vaginal secretions mixed up down there. If she's a squirter (which is more likely if you're utilizing those fingers, boo) things could get real messy. Have a towel on hand for a quick wipe up when you're ready to move on to something else.

5. The Pube Situation Is Varied

The first time I went down on a girl, I was kissing down her belly and expecting a warning that I was getting close. Imagine my surprise when I was all of a sudden right on the top of her labia. Turns out, my friend was totally shaved and therefore there was no warning that I was getting closer. As you probably know, women have a whole range of pubic hair styles so don't be surprised if she's rocking a full bush, sporting a landing strip, or is fully vajazzled.

Bet you thought it was all just flicking your tongue around, didn't you? Think again. Keeping up a consistent pressure and speed — which is what a lot of ladies need to orgasm — is actually really hard. Add in all the things I mentioned above and, yeah, going down on a girl sure ain't easy.

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Images: Giphy (6); Mateus Lunardi Dutra/Flickr