Questions For Lana's "High By The Beach" Video

by Kristie Rohwedder

Thursday morning, the music video for the latest single off of Honeymoon threw on a gauzy robe, sauntered down a flight of beach stairs, retrieved a nondescript guitar case, and went all Call of Duty on the Internet. That's right, the highly anticipated video for Lana Del Rey’s “High By The Beach” has hit the webosphere. In the clip, the "Summertime Sadness" songstress moseys around a nearly-empty beachfront mansion. A helicopter hovers a few feet away from the mansion. Someone leans out of the helicopter door and snaps pictures of LDR. Del Rey isn’t having this for a second; she just wants to get high by the beach and not worry about the paparazzi helicopter. The paparazzi helicopter harshes her buzz. So, Del Rey pulverizes the paparazzi helicopter. The end.

I love it.

The other day, my colleague Maggie Malach shared some of the questions she had for the 15-second preview for the video. The full length version of the video was kind enough to answer most of Maggie's questions. (Thanks, full length version of the video!) However, the full length version of the video has left me with a fresh batch of pipin' hot Qs of my own.

Here are all of the very serious Qs I have for the "High By The Beach" music video:

  • Can I have that house?
  • I'll ask again: Can I have it?
  • Where does one purchase a robe just like Lana’s?
  • Why is this house so empty? I bet there's a real fun *~story~* there.
  • What’s this house’s *~story~*?
  • If someone gave this house's *~story~* its own spinoff, I'd watch the heck out of it. Can someone make this happen?
  • Why'd Lana choose to sleep on square throw pillows instead of standard pillows?
  • Are standard pillows out?
  • Are square throw pillows in?
  • If someone gave LDR her very own HGTV show, I'd watch the heck out of it. Can someone make this happen?
  • Is that a crack in the mirror or is that just the way it was built?
  • Followup question: If it is a crack, who did it?
  • Second followup question: If it is a crack, has the person already served seven years of bad luck, or has the sentence only just begun?
  • What's that brown bag sitting on that end table all about?
  • Is it a brown bag full of secrets?
  • Or is it a brown bag full of PB&J sandwiches?
  • Great. Now I'm craving a PB&J sandwich, but I don't have bread. How did I forget to buy bread at the store yesterday?!
  • Is a coffee pot, a mug, a magazine, and a telescope all any of us really need to live our best lives?
  • Is this the most beautiful coffee pot in the history of coffee pots?
  • Did LDR know the helicopter was coming?
  • Is that why she glued the gossip rag to the countertop?
  • What kind of sorcery is going on with that guitar case?
  • Did LDR use a spell to make that monstrosity fit in that guitar case?
  • Did LDR go to Hogwarts?
  • Wait, but what the heck is that enormous, surprisingly lightweight piece of artillery?
  • Is that a weapon that exists in real life or is it something from a video game?
  • Um, why isn’t there an Lana Del Rey video game?
  • If someone made an LDR video game, I'd play the heck out of it. Can someone make this happen?

Images: LanaDelReyVEVO/YouTube (6); Kristie Rohwedder/Bustle (5)