At some point we are going to have to look humankind in the mirror and wonder if we've taken science too far. But today is not that day, because these deep fried milkshakes are the kind of science that even your resident Lex Luthor couldn't twist into something evil. Yeah, you read that right — FRIED MILKSHAKES, guys. They hail from a restaurant in the UK called Mister Eaters, run by real life dessert wizard John Clarkson. He calls his creations "Chippies," which I assume roughly translates into "food that you wish you could legally marry".
Ever since I first saw the pictures I've had that song "This Is What Dreams Are Made Of" from The Lizzie McGuire Movie stuck in my head, and for good reason. I really think that I was destined to be born in the specific year I was born so that I could coexist with these deep fried monstrosities. I mean, yeah, I don't live in Lancashire, but a quick 3,000 mile swim ought to fix that right up. I've done a lot more for a lot less when it comes to good dessert and I'm not backing down now. I mean, look at these puppies:
I'm sorry, I just need to catch my breath. *sweats*
Clarkson creates these doughy heaven balls by freezing the milkshakes in an ice cube tray, and then individually battering each one of them. No word yet on the specific magic recipe he uses, but he told The Daily Mail it involves milkshake powder with milk, eggs, flour and sugar. And, you know. Probably magic. JUST SAYING.
Apparently customers weren't so keen on them in the beginning (because they are WEAK and won't survive the winter). "Their first reaction was, 'What!?' They think I'm daft as a brush," said Clarkson to The Daily Mail. "They say I'm the Willy Wonka of the chip shop trade, which is quite funny. I've had this shop for a long time and it can be quite laborious so I like to do things to keep the job fun."
Because it's a Friday and you deserve to follow your fried food bliss, here are a few other beautiful things you may not have realized ~science~ has perfected with a deep fryer:
Deep Fried Starbucks
Petition to replace all breakfast foods with this, plz? Also, my thirst for the Pumpkin Spice Latte has never been more real than this moment. (Don't even try to call me out on my basic-ness, I'm so far gone that I've transcended it.)
Deep Fried Guacamole
BASK IN ITS POWER, MORTALS OF THIS EARTH. I will not rest until we have bastardized the avocado in every glorious way possible.
Deep Fried S'mores
If you think you can handle this kind of power in your life, here's an article on how to DIY your own deep fried s'mores. And if you can't handle it ... well, more for me, y'all.