Life

4 Women Share Their Best Sex Toy Fails

by Emma McGowan

Whether you’re a Rabbit-lover or you just can’t get there without your Hitachi Magic Wand — or even if you’re happy with that trusty little bullet — the use of vibrators among women today is on the rise. In fact, one study conducted in 2009 by the researchers at the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University found that 52.5 percent of women have used a vibrator either in masturbation, with a partner, or as a part of foreplay. Even cooler? A 2015 study from the University of Guelph in Ontario found that men are totally down with incorporating vibrators into their sex lives.

So vibes are popular — and getting more so. However, vibrators are also complicated machines that, when in combination with the hot messes that most of us are, 80 percent of the time, can cause some pretty ridiculous situations. Anyone who has ever had a vibrator die mid-self loving session or seen sparks coming out their beloved electronic friend or even just left one in an awkwardly visible place knows that vibrator-love is not hazard free. While certainly not as complicated as loving another a human being, let’s just say that the popularity of vibrators has caused a pretty serious amount of stress (and hilarity) for the electronically-inclined.

A few brave ladies shared me their best vibrator “fail” stories in order to give us a little peek into the not-so-pretty side of sex toys. They had me actually laughing out loud like a crazy person in my office, so enjoy.

1 Candice, 30

I don't know if this is a "fail" so much as "savage," but I broke the Rabbit off of my Rabbit habit from vigorous usage. Never invested in that brand again. Needed something with a little more, ahem, stamina.

2. Jasmine, 28

Not sure if it's a vibrator fail or just an overall fail. One afternoon I got in the mood while sexting with my long distance girlfriend. Was all excited, pulled out vibrator and went for it. Everything was great, toes curled, heavy breathing all that jazz… until I finished and remembered I had a tampon in. I had managed to push the tampon so far in I couldn't find the string and could barely touch the bottom of the tampon when I put my fingers in to get it out. After a lot freaking out and awkward squatting positions, I barely managed to wiggle it out.

3. Claire, 22

I leaned on my backpack in a cab once, and my vibrator turned on. It was new, so it took me a while to turn it off. I tried to fake a coughing fit, but my cab driver and I both ended up laughing.

4. Violet, 27

Flying cross country, I'd thoughtlessly packed my vibrator in my carry on instead of my checked baggage. After my bag was Xrayed, I was called aside by the TSA agent, who said they needed to look at something in my bag. A moment later, he pulls out my pink vibrating dildo, grins, and quickly puts it back in the bag. He disappears for a moment, and when he returns slips me a peace of paper with his name (Angel) and phone number, along with a verbal request to call him next time I'm in town.

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Images: Giphy (4); Sage Ross/Flickr