I know I'm not alone in saying this, especially when you consider the ratings, but LAWD, do I love Bachelor In Paradise . I saw the preview for this year's series while I was in Vancouver last month and knew I'd have to watch, and I've been obsessed since the first episode. The drama that happens on Bachelor in Paradise is a wild ride of amazing salaciousness that The Bachelor and The Bachelorette can only hope to match. The contestants are a hot mess in the best kind of way, and, when the drama gets out of control... it's delicious.
It's not that the contestants don't have their problems, even on such a wonderful series. There are times when the men are wishy-washy, the women are cliche-ridden drama queens, and the romances don't make my heart beat with passion. (Some of them do, don't get me wrong. But sometimes I'm rooting for someone completely different.) At the end of the day, the Bachelor in Paradise is such an amazing emotional ride that I just can't help but tune in season after season.
I tend to go through the same emotional roller coaster with Bachelor In Paradise every Sunday and Monday night, and if you're a fan, you've probably experienced some of these, too.
1. Is Finding Love Really So Easy?
I mean, look, I guess it's theoretically possible, but I cannot honestly believe that the love of my life could be waiting just a TV show. Surely it's really all about hooking up?
2. Is Mikey T Serious?
Just, like, as a human being. I don't think I've ever seen a human less incapable of understanding the words spoken to him. That's not to say he's not a good guy at heart and that he doesn't generally mean well, but dear me, the struggle to get through to him sometimes is insane.
3. Why Is Ashley I. So Intense?
Yeah, being intense is fine and all that, but there is such a thing as being TOO much. When you start sobbing your heart out about how much it "hurts" to be rejected by a guy you were never with to begin with, especially when you only met him about a week ago, I have to question your sanity. Ashley, girl, come back to reality — or join it for the first time!
4. Uh, You Don't Actually Know Him/Her!
One of my favorite Bachelor tropes is when one of the contestants gets brushed off by another and claims that the guy/girl who did them wrong is "not who I thought they were". Well, who did you think they were, then? You didn't actually know each other since you just met a few days ago.
5. Do These Women Ever Have Periods?
It seems like none of these women ever have periods on this show. Wouldn't some of them have PMS sometimes or complain about cramps or whatever? I suppose maybe that doesn't make good viewing, but you would think it'd come up from time to time, right?
6. Why Hasn't Chris Harrison Ever Been The Bachelor?
I can't even count how many series of The Bachelor and its spinoffs Chris Harrison has hosted at this point, but he's still going strong. Does he ever long to leave the hosting chair and just be the bachelor?
7. Sorry, But Claire Isn't Old.
Every time someone makes an issue about Claire's age, I'm always sorta like, "Huh?" Ashley I. calling her a "cougar" had to be one of the funniest moments on the show, considering Ashley herself is 27 and she doesn't seem to actually know what a cougar is. Jared taking her out on a date, only to decide that the age gap is too big, was also stupid. She's 34, people, not 60.
8. Thank God I'm Gay.
That's not to say gay men and lesbians don't have their own issues in the dating world, but not this kind of drama! Excuse me while I marathon more episodes.