Entertainment

Ranking Lana Del Rey's Saddest Songs

by Rachel Semigran

Lana Del Rey is to sadness as Beyonce of fierceness. in fact, Lana Del Rey is the Beyonce of sadness. On Friday, she Del Rey released"Terrence Loves You," a brand new single from her upcoming album Honeymoon, and it's as stunning as it is absolutely heartbreaking. I'm used to Del Rey crooning slowly over sad, sad music, but she really takes it to a whole new gloomy level on this one. Over nearly five minutes, she takes you through the depths of loss, slowly moaning, "I lost myself when I lost you," then she hums in a bit of David Bowie, and it somehow becomes impossibly more depressing. You think about loss and hope fading into the ether as her beautiful voice cascades over a jazzy, slow saxophone. And this is only the third track on the record. Good luck recuperating after this one, fans.

"Terrence Loves You" isn't the first, nor will it be the last, Lana Del Rey song to completely bum listeners out. That's kind of her deal. She looks like Hollywood sunshine, but then sounds like what you imagine is going on inside the head of April Ludgate's creepy best friend Orin at all times. The fun just never stops when it comes to Lana Del Rey.

So how sad is "Terrence Loves You" in comparison to the rest of her saddest tunes? Let's see how it ranks.

11. "Dark Paradise"

Well, here's one to help you wallow in a break-up.

10. "Pawn Shop Blues"

I feel alone. So very, very alone. Quick! Someone find me a puppy gif!

9. "Black Beauty"

I need a nap.

8. "Summertime Sadness"

She somehow makes summer the most depressing season of the year. That's truly a gift.

7. "Sad Girl"

If you're into sad music during the horizontal mambo, this one's for you.

6. "The Man I Love"

We get it, Del Rey, love is sometimes the worst. Just pick up your pal Carlo Rossi, and cheer up a little, hmm?

5."Yayo"

It's not just the lyrics that get me in this one — it's the almost lullaby-like guitar in the back that just illicits all of the feels.

4. "Pretty When You Cry"

According to this song, I should be Miss America by now from listening to this playlist. Sobs galore!

3. "Born to Die"

Guh, even the title makes me want to close the curtains, and hide from the world.

2. "Terrence Loves You"

I feel like I'm glued to the floor.

1. "Ultraviolence"

Nothing like a tune about domestic abuse to really put a damper on your day. Cripes.

Well, now that I've sufficiently bummed everyone out, here's this.

Phew, I feel better. Considering some of the upcoming tracks on Honeymoon have titles like, "God Knows I Tried" and "The Blackest Day," things might only get sadder from here. Still beautiful... but sad. So, so sad.

Image: Giphy