The Most Embarrassing Google Searches From Each State Show That We Might Have Some Issues To Work Out

US actor Nicolas Cage arrives for the screening of 'Joe' presented in competition at the 70th Venice Film Festival on August 30, 2013 at Venice Lido. AFP PHOTO / GABRIEL BOUYS (Photo credit should read GABRIEL BOUYS/AFP/Getty Images)
Source: GABRIEL BOUYS/AFP/Getty Images

We've all Googled some bizarre, embarrassing things; for me, it's mostly just been the lyrics to songs I've apparently been singing wrong for the last 10 years. But hey, the good news is that if you've ever Googled something weird, you're not alone: According to this map from real estate site Estately, the most embarrassing Google searches from each state are… really questionable. At least we're all in it together, right?

Estately dug through 11 years of data in order to compile lists of which terms users in certain states searched for more than in any other state — but with a cringeworthy twist. Said Ryan Nickum, Estateley's lead blogger, via email, "We selected a variety of embarrassing topics, terrible movies and TV shows, lame bands, awful hobbies, and stupid questions, and then ran them through Google Trends to determine which states Googled those terms the most.” Each state topped the rankings in one embarrassing search term or another, which enabled Estately to pick out the cream of the crop. 

Results ranged from old song lyrics to questions like, “Is Bigfoot real?” (thanks for that one, Tennessee). So how does your state measure up on the Yikesworthy Google Search Meter? Check out 14 of my favorites below, and scroll down to see the full map. You can also see the complete list of all 50 states over at Estately's blog — it's delightfully bizarre. Just trust me on this one.

1. Alaska: Nicolas Cage, outhouse

OK, but who hasn't Googled Nicolas Cage?

2. Washington, D.C.:  Snuggie, Bill Cosby, Vladimir Putin (image search)

The heart of politics and we're looking up Cosby and Putin. 

3. Idaho:  Eagles (band), hacky sack, brony

But the big question is, are the people performing these searches playing hacky sack while listening to the Eagles and watching My Little Pony?

4. Mississippi:  Gonorrhea, chlamydia, feet photos (image search), male enhancement, R. Kelly, Blind Melon

I wonder what Tinder looks like in Mississippi. 

Need a laugh? Watch this very scientific research on exactly how many boozy gummy bears you have to consume to get drunk:

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5. Missouri:  George Foreman Grill, vajazzling, fake moustache

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The disguise of the face and the vagina. 

6. Montana:  Alex Jones (radio host), Infowars (conspiracy site), Methamphetamines, The Offspring (faux punk band), where is Canada?

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But has anyone actually even seen Canada?

7. New Hampshire: Pajama jeans

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Important.  

8. New Jersey:  Ashley Madison, pubic lice, Jonas Brothers lyrics, frosted tips

Literally the worst.

9. New Mexico:   The Hot Chick, Slipknot, Slipknot lyrics, Insane Clown Posse, Juggalos

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I love that movie. Not embarrassing at all. 

10. Pennsylvania:  Celebrity Boxing, Furry Convention, Donald Trump quotes, The Apprentice, hipster quiz, Good Charlotte lyrics, Goo Goo Dolls, Maroon 5, devil sticks, patchouli oil

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PA is the Van Wilder of the states. 

11. Tennessee:  Is Bigfoot real?, Obama conspiracies, where is the G spot?

Hopefully you find one of those. 

12. Texas:  Matthew McConaughey quotes, Pimp Juice, Extenze pills, hot dog pizza crust, skunk hair, porn, is WWE real?

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All right, all right, all right.

13. Vermont:  Four Loko, juggling, age of consent

Apparently all our weird uncles live in Vermont.

14. West Virginia:  Hot Pockets, lice, skin rash (image search), Beavis and Butt-head, tattoo ideas, chastity belt, “Who Let the Dogs Out?”

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Finally, an answer: West Virginia let the dogs out.

And there you have it, people. Our awkward, embarrassing, perverted nation. See more over at Estately.


Images: Giphy (10); courtesy of Estately

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