How To Teach Your Partner To Kiss Better, Because Everyone Deserves A Solid Makeout
There’s nothing worse than a bad kiss on a first date. But what do you do if your partner is a bad kisser? Studies have found that the kiss is so fundamental to a relationship, that 59 percent of men and 66 percent of women have sent a partner packing because they were a bad kisser. If someone can’t kiss good, can you imagine what they might be like in bed? Most likely dreadful, to say the least.
Kissing is truly an intimate act and one that not everyone has perfected. I guess to say that someone is a “bad” kisser is maybe a bit harsh, because perhaps it’s just a matter of difference of techniques; some people are more tongue-oriented, others prefer more emphasis on the lips, while others just want to bite or suck your lips clear off your face. And, hey, maybe those suckers will eventually find their match and they will no longer be bad kissers, but perfect kissers. Who knows?!
But the fact remains that kissing is essential. Not just from a pleasurable standpoint, but an evolutionary one, too. Scientists speculate that the kiss was once a way for people to determine whether their partner was a match for them on a genetic compatibility level. It was basically an introductory test that someone had to pass before the could get to the sexin’, so if someone encountered a bad kiss, they probably were not going to be inviting that person up for bison broth, or whatever our ancestors served to possible suitors back in the day.
So what happens when you find someone awesome who’s a horrible kisser? Well, you try to change all that, of course. Here’s how to turn that person into overall perfection by teaching them to kiss like a boss.
1. Lead The Way
If you get in there and realize that your kissing styles are totally opposite, then try to lead the way. At first it might feel like you’re having an unspoken war with your lips and tongues, as you try to manipulate the situation so it’s pleasurable, but eventually your partner should concede ― because that’s what the loser in every battle is supposed to do.
2. Don’t Be Afraid To Pull Back
It’s one thing to enjoy playful bites, but then there is full-on biting that can draw blood and leave bruises. While lots of people love that kind of kissing, if it’s not your thing, then don’t be afraid to pull back and admit it hurts. Saying “ouch,” will communicate volumes and should translate to your partner, “That effing hurts. You do that again, then I’m going home. You can make-out with your pillow all night instead for all I care."
3. Give Positive Reinforcement
When your partner does start to pick up on your technique, be sure to give them praise for it. While you may want to say, “Finally! You finally caught on!” choose to be a little more subtle. Instead, a simple “I like that” or “that feels good,” will let them know you’re into it and they’ve really got this whole learning thing down.
4. Be Honest
In the beginning stages of a relationship, you can’t expect your partner to read your mind quite like they will later on in, say, years and years down the road. Because that’s the case, you can’t be completely surprised if they just don’t get what you’re trying to teach them about kissing, so you need to say the words.
Don’t be mean about it, but make light of it instead. For example, “Wow! We really have different kissing styles, huh?” From there you can start the conversation about what you prefer, what they prefer, and find yourself a very happy medium where make-out sessions are endless for all time. Awww… love is so grand, especially when you nail the perfect kiss.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.
Images: Fotolia; Giphy(4)