How Christmas Feels Now That You're No Longer a Kid

Close your eyes. Relax. Start humming Jingle Bells. No, you won't do that? Okay, fine. Now tell me...do you remember a time when Christmas truly felt like the best, cheeriest, most fun and magical time of year? You know...the era when you truly believed that a fat white dude (well, according to Fox News) annually broke into all the houses of the world, chowing on cookies and leaving behind rad presents made by tiny, Arctic laborers? A time when you didn't have to cook a ham, bake a million treats, decorate your pigsty, or wake up at 5 a.m. to face murderous mall hoards? When you rolled around in the cold, damp snow for fun and actually liked hanging out with your family? When the whole Internet wasn't debating whether Love Actually is totally awesome or totally horrible? When you drank hot cocoa instead of hot toddies?

...Yeah, we can't, either.

For the sake of nostalgia and the simple, good-old-days of Furby, Tomagatchi, Pogs, and HitClips (RIP), let's revisit what "the most wonderful time of the year" was like. That is, before you morphed into a jaded, neurotic, grinchy adult.

When the first snow of the year appeared, you used to be like...

But now you're more...

When you were little, you asked for...

Using either this tactic...

Or this one...

But now you're just all...

Christmas music: before...

Now.

You used to like to prepare for holiday gatherings...

Now? It feels like a chore.

As a kid you loved crafting presents for your friends and fam...

These days you don't know what the hell to get people.

Christmas Eve as a child...

As an adult...

On Christmas morning, you used to get so excited you thought you might pass out...

Whereas now you're just mad that you have to get up early to open presents.

And when you got the one thing you were hoping for, you were ecstatic beyond measure...

Now you have to keep your cool...

(But inside you're still like...)

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