How To Live Out Your 'Below Deck' Fantasies

Since it's one of the best summer shows out there, I'd love to be a part of Below Deck, and I'd bet that plenty of people agree with me. But being a steward or a deckhand, when you have to stay in the tiny quarters designated for the crew, just doesn't seem as fun as renting the Below Deck yacht, Eros, for yourself. That's the dream. However, while the Eros is available for rent, it's going to cost you over $200,000 for a charter, according to estimates by Yacht Charter Fleet. It's so exclusive that you actually have to contact a charter broker in order to rent it — this isn't like renting a car when you go on vacation, it takes more than a few forms and your driver's license to embark on a Below Deck-approved adventure. Basically, this boat is for serious ballers only. But whether you are one of those ballers or just wish that you were, it's fun to imagine all of the Below Deck traditions you'd enjoy if you were a charter guest.

Eros comes equipped with everything you could possibly need to have a good time while out on the high seas, including a crew of 10 people. And you know that if need be, you can pack a whole bunch of reality TV producers and cameramen on board as well. Though Eros isn't really Eros while Below Deck isn't filming, since it has a different name — Mustang Sally, which is awesome — it must be a blast to rent the yacht and act out all of your Below Deck fantasies. Because living the life of a charter guest has all sorts of fun perks.

Arriving To A Glass Of Champagne

Whether or not you love champagne, it's used used as shorthand for "fancy drink." It gets the charter off to a good and fancy start, and gets everyone's buzz on.

Fighting Over Who Gets The Best Beds

It's just like camp, but instead of arguing between the top bunk next to the spiderweb and the bottom bunk next to a different spiderweb, it's a fight to get the bedroom with the silk sheets and the ocean view rather than the one with the walk-in closet and two bathrooms.

Complaining About The Food Passive-Aggressively

Every charter, there's always one person who loudly proclaims some problem with the food or finds something weird on their plate, yet also insists that they're fine and refuse to let the stews or chefs get them a new plate and move on. Oh no, if you're a charter guest, you have to milk this for all it's worth.

Asking For One Totally Crazy Thing

Meals planned down to the minute, headshots for all of your guests, or, as in the Season 3 premiere, a foam party, every guest gets one freebie. Think of the weirdest thing you've ever wanted to do on a boat.

Drinking Way Too Much

It's basically the mission statement of Below Deck. Stick to clear alcohols for that Kat Held hangover. If you're lucky, Ben will be there to make you a great breakfast to help the recovery process.

Spending The Rest Of Your Charter Without Any Trouble

Hang out, enjoy the perks of renting a yacht for hundreds of thousands of dollars, and don't give the staff any more crap. You end the charter the best of friends and give a great tip. Thus ends my Choose Your Own Charter-venture, were you to get in touch with that charter broker, drop $200,000, and rent the Eros.

Images: Virginia Sherwood/Bravo; Giphy (4)