Z100 Jingle Ball Fashion, From Creepy Uncle Robin Thicke to Miley in a Tuxedo
Many things happened this Friday the 13th, of which the least-culturally-important-but-most-fun-to-judge was Z100's Jingle Ball concert. Unfamiliar with the Jingle Ball oeuvre? It's basically an excuse to entertain a bunch of tweens with class acts like Austin Mahone and Fifth Harmony. And Selena Gomez. And Miley Cyrus. Cue screaming fans and zero alcohol sales.
Unfortunately for any future trendsetters of America who may have been in attendance, the fashion was far less star-studded than the guest list. There were a few cute looks (eye roll), but nothing terribly worthy of immortalization. Thankfully, there were also lots of poorly styled and generally unfortunate looks to click through, snicker at, and then curl up and loathe ourselves for being such a judgmental Internet hive mind.
Worst: Robin Thicke
Why was he even invited? He is literally turning into everybody’s creepy uncle. And he stood like a Ken doll in every single red carpet picture. And he wore a shiny leopard-print blazer that just would not quit thinking highly of itself.
NO, ROBIN, NO. There are children in attendance!
Bad: Hayley Williams
I want to like this “edgy” hairstyle, but all I can think of is “scalp graft.”
Once I say this you can’t unsee it, but… look how tight his pants are.
Bad: Lindsay Lohan
I’ve been staring at this picture for five minutes and all I can see is that sad little hair elastic on her right wrist.
This is what happens when your demure grandma tries to “show a little skin.”
Catherine Zeta-Jones after being locked in a thrift store for 3 hours.
Decent: Flo Rida
Was kind of digging the red pants/blazer combo… until he took off his shirt.
Decent: Anna Kendrick
Nah… the shirt has too much fabric, the skirt has too little, and the necklace sorta looks like it’s on backward.
Decent: Enrique Iglesias
Oh, sure, its all super hot until you spot the cargo pockets.
Decent: Miley Cyrus
One might be tempted to categorize this as “bad,” given the American Apparel-worthy bottoms. But her gorgeous makeup, big smile, and snowball earrings kind of save the day here.
Good: Selena Gomez
The woman was built for wind in her hair.
Good: Kellan Lutz
Never has a deep v-neck and a gaudy ring looked so take-me-to-your-parents.
Good: Tegan and Sara
New life plan: become their BFF, steal all their perfectly fitted black skinny pants and androgynous loafers, skip town.
Good: Katie Holmes
She definitely shopped in the juniors section for this outfit, but she looks cute, and her grown-out bob is happening.
Good: Miley Cyrus
Never has a tuxedo looked so feminine, so intense, or — sorry, does she have shoes on? — made us want inner-arm tattoos, a punk pixie cut, and a crash-but-not-burn career so badly.
Best: The Christmas Tree
Perhaps this wasn’t her first-choice outfit for a Friday night, but she never stepped out of character.