9 Things The New 'American Horror Story: Hotel' Teasers Have Taught Us Between Giving Us Nightmares — VIDEOS
For many, the coming of Autumn means sweater weather, pumpkin spiced everything, and "crafternoons" involving gourds of all shapes and sizes. But for us, television fiends, fall means one thing and one thing only: a new chilling season of American Horror Story. FX just released three brand-new American Horror Story: Hotel teasers and they're guaranteed to give you the heebie-jeebies. The newest addition to the FX anthology, promises to be its eeriest and most star-studded affair. Lady Gaga, Max Greenfield, Evan Peters, Sarah Paulson, Denis O'Hare, Lily Rabe, Kathy Bates, Emma Roberts, Angela Bassett, Chloë Sevigny, Finn Wittrock,Wes Bentley, Mare Winningham and Matt Bomer are all signed on to make sure none of us sleep well or have a comfy, cozy stay at the AHS: Hotel.
The new teasers titled, "Towhead," "Sleepwalk," and, "Jeepers Peepers" give fans a glimpse at what terrors are in store this season — from creepy children to some grotesque form of mattress torture, AHS: Hotel will make you grateful for all of those Marriott reward points you've racked up over the years. In July, fans were treated to a first look at Lady Gaga as the hotel's owner Elizabeth, a wealthy socialite with dubious intentions. All we saw was a silver hand tapping on a bell, and it was enough to send shivers down my spine and make me all the more eager for the October premiere.
Here's what we've learned from the latest teasers.
1. Staircases Are Not Your Friend
They might seem like a way out, but up actually means down, and they're leading you to your DOOM!
2.The Hotel Has Some Children of The Corn Going On
Identical looking blonde children in horror stories are never a good thing.
3. There's Some Soul-Sucking Happening
Is Lady Gaga actually 500 years old, and she's sucking the youth out of children? COULD BE.
4. Turn Down Service Is Crucial In AHS: Hotel
You really want to make sure your bed has been properly... inspected.
5. There Is Major Punishment For Naughty Guests
Don't go trashing the rooms like a rockstar, or there will be hell to pay.
6. This Season Is Going To Play Into Your Worst Fears
Especially if you're the kind of person who has a deep fear about eyeballs.
7. Do Not Go Into Room 64
Absolutely no good will come of it.
8. Guests Had Better Mind Their Own Business
Don't go looking into those peep holes. You won't like what you see.
9. James March Does Not Want Room Service
Here's your first peek at Evan Peters as the hotel's first owner and serial killer James March. I reckon we won't like what's behind this door.
Take a look at all three teasers here.
Good luck sleeping tonight, AHS fans.
Images: FXNetworks/YouTube (9)