Have you ever walked through the grocery store, looked at a radish and thought, "Wow, that looks just like the d*ck I hopped on the other day?" Well, friend, life is about to get more convenient for you and bae now that these fruit and vegetable sized condoms exist. Designer Guan-Hao Pan, a student at National Taipei University of Technology in Taiwan, designed these condoms so that the confused masses could finally measure their penises by a standard the whole world will understand: the size of the produce that most closely resembles it. No more standing in the condom aisle staring at Trojans and bursting into a pool of sweat because you have no idea which condom to buy. Simply buy out the farmer's market, shove everything next to the d*ck in question for comparison, and voilà!
But Guan-Hao Pan's project isn't just good for a laugh — it's genuinely meant to help the condom industry. In the project's description, he cites that 60 percent of condom breakage is due to improper size selection, as well as failure to apply it the right way in the first place.
"'Love Guide' condoms address these issues by introducing a new packaging system for conventional condoms," wrote Guan-Hao Pan on his Behance project website. "They come in five packages, each of a distinct diameter, such that holding the packages easily determines the right size. Also, each condom comes in a specially designed case with a rising tip, making it easy to pick the condom from the right side while squeezing the tip at the same time. Love Guide helps users choose the right condom and use it the right way!"
The condoms come in five different "flavors": cucumber, carrot, banana, radish, and zucchini. They even come individually prepackaged with their own designs.
Guan-Hao Pan said that ideally, he'd want the products to be available and sold in vending machines. (They're oddly adorable. My loins are so confused.)
Plus, you're having sex for a better world, the packaging is environment-friendly PLA plastic, it is biodegradable and disposable. You're basically saving the planet, one safe-sex venture at a time.
I leave you with the words of wisdom from Bustle's Brian O'Connor: "Newsflash: guys don't think their dicks look like food." But it's too late, Brian. It's too late for us all.
Images: Courtesy of Guan-Hao Pan