Life Lessons From Britney's "Piece Of Me" Video

For all intents and purposes, 2007 really wasn't that long ago. And yet, when I watch the music video for Britney Spears's "Piece of Me," I am teleported to a bygone era. No, the very '07 fashion choices aren't the culprit, but that is a solid guess (I see you, ripped bootcut jeans!). Rather, it is because I am reminded of the tumultuous period of time that seems like three lifetimes ago: The Britney Spears Dark Ages. Released in 2007, Blackout's second single was a too real commentary on the celebrity gossip machine's unquenchable, stop-at-nothing thirst for any and all details about the singer's personal life. The song is a masterpiece, and the tongue-in-cheek music video is perfection.

I'm not the only one who loves the music video for "Piece of Me": the Wayne Isham-directed vid was nominated for Best Female Video, Best Pop Video, and Video of the Year at the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards. Do you know what "Piece of Me" went and did? It waltzed out of that awards ceremony with all three moonmen, that's what.

In addition to being an entertaining, award-winning music video, it’s also very informative. Here are some of the very important, timeless life lessons I’ve gleaned from the “Piece of Me” music video:

1. Rats Weakly Would Make For A Terrific Gossip Rag Name

Not only am I a sucker for a play on words, but Rats Weakly has an incredibly nice ring to it. Now, I'm not in the market to start up my own tabloid newspaper, but if I were, Rats Weakly would be on my potential magazine name shortlist.

2. Britney Wearing A Britney Disguise Is A Terrific Halloween Costume

Uh, how has this not been my go-to Halloween costume since 2007? I BLEW IT.

3. Don't Underestimate The Power Of A Censored Bird Flip

Blurred or not, a middle finger still packs a punch.

4. Where There's Fedora, There's Camera

OK, OK. That isn't fair to say. There are some fedoras that are totally chill. For example, I will forever trust the patent leather fedora Brit Brit wore in the "Me Against The Music" video.

5. Be Open About Your Feelings

If someone wrongs you, don't hold back. Let that person know exactly how you feel. Pop the cap off a tube of lipstick and let that sucker know what's up.

6. When In Doubt, Dance it Out

ESPECIALLY if you're in doubt while in a public restroom.

7. Don't Sleep On A Well-Timed Twirl

Don't mind me as I give this one a whirl the next time I'm at the club. (And by "at the club," I definitely mean "standing in the kitchen while I wait for my coffee to finish brewing.")

8. If You're Going To Wear Sunglasses In The Club, Be Sure To Duck Face At Least Once

It really is an unstoppable combo.

Images: BritneySpearsVEVO/YouTube (9); Kristie Rohwedder/Bustle (8)