Pippa Middleton Is Reportedly Engaged, But She Will Never Enjoy Her Wedding

The royal in-law whose butt inexplicably became the United Kingdom's most treasured asset in 2011 is going to have her own completely non-royal wedding next year. That's right, Pippa Middleton is engaged, Us Weekly reports. The 30-year-old younger sister to Kate Middleton, aka Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, is probably thrilled — for now. Just wait until she's hit with the largest bout of wedding jealousy in history.

Sure her fiancé, 36-year-old banker Nico Jackson is probably a great guy, and apparently his proposal during their vacation to India last month was really beautiful, but will he ever be king? Sorry Pip, but two billion people aren't going to watch your wedding. Actually, it probably won't even be on TV.

It's hard to say just how long the newly engaged event planner's excitement will last before she realizes that her older sister's will just overshadow her at every possible moment. Not to mention, Kate's presence at the wedding, said to likely occur in 2014, will probably overshadow the bride. And if her nephew Prince George shows up? Good luck girl. No one will be looking at the bride when the ring bearer is set to lead the country in a few decades.

Even if the wedding turns out exactly how Pippa hoped and it's better than she ever could have dreamed of, she won't be receiving gifts from an assortment of countries, and no one is going to lend her a royal heirloom to wear. But hey, maybe that's what she wants.

Good luck to Pippa. I hope she enjoys this time while she can, before she starts having flashbacks to the royal wedding as she orders her headpiece from Etsy. But hey — she nabbed a lot of the spotlight during Prince William and Kate's wedding... maybe karma really is a bitch.

Congrats to the happy couple, though. And if the wedding is, in fact, televised, we'll be watching, of course. These Middleton women know how to make a splash.