It's not enough to say goodbye to your ex — it's not really going to hit home until you can say, "GoodBYEEEEeehh, goodBYEEEEeehh" when you ~look at these photographs~. At least, that's the rationale behind this potential life-shaving Nickelblock app that plays Nickelback whenever you contact your ex. Because apparently the only pain and humiliation more fresh than begging for your ex to take you back is accidentally blasting Nickelback on the subway in front of a bunch of innocent bystanders, amirite? (That was a hypothetical question. I know I'm right.)
Look, I'm not really sure where this universal hatred for Nickelback began, but I do know that it's kept them relevant for so long that they really should be thanking the internet trolls for it. This (unfortunately) fictional app has taken advantage of that bizarre hate fire by channeling it into this app that aggressively plays Nickelback whenever you type your ex's name into your phone, be it via text or social media. So in a way, guys, we should be thanking Nickelback. They are the true heroes here. Saving us all from our chronic social media stalking ways, one early millennium hit at a time.
And don't worry, everyone — if you build up an immunity, the app makers already thought up a solution. It will keep downloading and charging you for MORE Nickelback songs, until you are punished for scrolling down your ex's Twitter feed by having their entire discography stuck in your head. And trust me, while it might take a few months to get over that ex, you'll have those songs stuck in your head forever.
But the best part of this app is that it isn't just a quick fix. In true Pavlovian response style, whenever you see your ex out in the wild and there is no Nickelblock to protect you, your body will react as if it is still happening.
Now we just need the counter app to get the songs stuck out of our head, but in the meantime, we'll all just stock up on soap and pray for the best. Here's the whole scoop on the app here: