We snake people are, slowly but surely, moving out of our parents' basements and achieving the belated financial independence that was supposed to come with adulthood. That being said, we haven't completely severed ties with all of the comforts of home sweet home, which is what prompted Mashable's PSA asking us to stop using our parents' HBO Go accounts. Apparently our parents managed not only to unite on this issue, but also figured out how to film their actual faces instead of the vague neck/chest region we usually talk to on Skype. And they're here to say that enough is enough. They're kicking us off their paid cable services ... for good.
Be not afraid of this brave new world of solo television subscriptions, fellow twentysomethings. While it might feel entirely unsettling in our bones for us to plug our own credit card numbers into Netflix and Hulu, it will be good practice for when we graduate to the big leagues sometime in the next five years, when we inevitably get kicked off our cellphone's family plan. (Did I type that too loudly? Maybe our parents didn't hear. Gulp.) Someday — bear with me, I know this is a difficult thought to think — but someday, we might even reproduce and have tiny little cable subscription leeches of our own.
And eventually we, too, will get fed up with their post-collegiate shenanigans, prompting us to ~circle of life~ ourselves and say to them what our parents are begging us to hear now:
The Jig Is Up
Ha, a job? That old thing? TOTALLY forgot I had one of those. My bad. *sweats*.
Nothing Is Sacred
It's all fun and games until you have to explain the 26 episodes of Hannah Montana you consumed in one night.
They Have Reached The End Of Their Ropes
Should they be so lucky. That seventh viewing was essential to your existence and everybody else needs to get LEARNT.
OK, OK — in all fairness, we have lived off their dime way too long, and this PSA is mad overdue. If anybody needs me, I'll be marathoning Girls tonight the way smokers have their one last cigarette before forfeiting my rights to the family channels. (For, like, a day, maybe. I may be brave, but I'm not crazy.) Here's the full video below: