Happy Birthday, Jake Gyllenhaal's Beard!

This is an ode to Jake Gyllenhaal's beard. His ACTUAL FACE ONE, of course — that was not some veiled slight at his oft-discussed sexuality. But it's Jake Gyllenhaal's birthday today (he's 33), and so we decided to celebrate the one part of him that's always there, if not always on show. There are plenty of reasons to celebrate the man himself on this special day. I mean, he's politically active, a philanthropist, he can pull double-duty on screen, is a part-time woodworker and even cooks! (When he's not going to the hospital because he's so dedicated to his craft.) Sometimes it feels like I conjured him up in my dreams, but no: he's real.

But it's his under-appreciated beard that catches our eye on this day. Truly, Gyllenhaal's is a beard not always seen out in the wild, but when it is, the finery is inarguable. It is full, with a heady weight and certain voluminous quality to it other beards only wish to have.

So Happy Birthday, Jake Gyllenhaal's beard (and the rest of Jake Gyllenhaal). You've earned a hairy day.

The Ultimate Gyllenbeaard

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Glorious and slightly gingery, isn’t it? Don’t you want to run away to the mountains, wear lots of plaid, and live off the land with that beard? You do, you really really do.

Having a Laugh

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What’s so funny? Did somebody try and hand you a beard trimmer?

A Sideways Glance

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Sidebeard is the new sideboob, but better.

Classic Beard.

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Everything’s better in black and white.

Undercover Beardnanigans

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The dude abides.

I Spy with My Bearded Eye...

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…something that is white! (Hint: it’s the patch in his beard. He has a white patch in his beard.)

Beard 'n' Play

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Jake’s beard gets sporty, sometimes — because he’s not afraid to get dirty!

"Oh Hi There"

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“I didn’t see you there. But I notice you’re admiring my beard. Would you like to touch it?” AFFIRMATIVE, Jake. Afuckingfirmative.

Surprise! It's a Beard

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“Who, me? This beard? You like this one? OK.”

Wistful Thinking

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Disheveled and unruly: this beard’s a wild child.

So Dignified

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Now that’s a beard people can get behind.

Happy Beardday, Jake

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Your beard beats out Hugh Jackman’s beard any day!