This Is How Many People Are Into BDSM

Ever since Christian Grey brought Anastasia Steele into his Red Room of Pain and introduced her to the kinky world of BDSM, people have become increasingly curious about the acts that draw both pleasure and pain. When it comes to sex, the words bondage, dominance, and submission used to mean someone had to be emotionally disturbed to actually enjoy that type of thing. But ever since Fifty Shades took it mainstream, it’s becoming less of a taboo and more of a must-try. In fact, according to a newly released study, over one in four people have admitted to dabbling in some form of BDSM.

Online sex toy retailer, Adamandeve.com surveyed over 1000 adults over 18-years-old on whether or not bondage was part of their sex lives. It was found that 27 percent of people admitted to using blindfolds, restraints, and paddles. About 17 percent even admitted to using a “safe word” in their bondage play.

"Bondage can range from blindfolds and fuzzy handcuffs to serious restraints and intricate rope knots," Dr. Kat Van Kirk, resident sexpert for adamandeve.com said in a press release. "Ultimately, bondage can be a liberating form of sex play as long as both partners are comfortable with it and the rules are firmly established from the get-go … Bondage is more about pleasure than pain."

If you’re looking to try to incorporate a little BDSM into your lovemaking, definitely give it a go! While the idea may be exciting, actually putting it to action may be a little daunting. But don’t worry. As long as you and your partner know your boundaries and are having fun, it should be a pleasurable experience for the both of you.

I talked to professional dominatrix and fetishist, Sandra LaMorgese on her BDSM tips for couples. Here are 8 things you should know:

1. Know your roles.

"Talk about your desires of taking on the role of dominate or submissive in the play," LaMorgese says. "Basically, who’s getting tied up and who’s doing the tying."

2. The couple who shops together, enjoys BDSM together.

"Go shopping at the local sex store together to pick up a few toys, or sexy outfits. Nowadays, shop owners are catering to couples and women. It’s no longer a creepy dark place to visit," LaMorgese says.

3. Plan ahead.

"If you have busy lives (like most of us) plan your fantasy ahead of time," LaMorgese says. "This is great on a couple levels. · You’ll have time to add or delete elements to or from the fantasy. All the eagerness for acting out the fantasy will build, and keep you in a sexy, loving mood towards each other."

4. Ease into it by role playing.

"Role playing is an excellent introduction into practicing BDSM (it’s not all about pain)," LaMorgese says.

She suggests using these types of scenarios:

• The Mrs. needs a spanking for forgetting to text her Daddy which color panties she’s wearing that day.
• Teacher disciplines student for being naughty in class.
• The powerful lady boss calls her male employee in her office after hours to tell him his additional private duties. ·
• While having a drink at the restaurant bar, a lady sitting alone gets picked up by a handsome stranger. He makes her his sex slave for the evening.

5. Take your time.

"Work on extended bouts of tease-and-denial foreplay. Try massage, licking, spanking, making out, nipple play, light biting, hot and cold sensations, feeding each other—all while naked, of course," LaMorgese says. "Sex is best when it is unabashed, unadulterated fun…and takes its lazy, sweet time getting there."

6. Start your engines.

"Seduction begins way before you lay a hand on your partner. Send your partner steamy little texts throughout the day, talking about how and what you are going to do to each other once you get home," LaMorgese says. "Once your partner is in your mind, sexually, your body will follow soon after. So will theirs."

7. It's all about trust.

"BDSM builds trust like nothing else. When you tie up your partner, smack them hard, blow smoke in their face, blind them – whatever your BDSM fantasy of the moment is– you build up an incredible bank of trust with your partner," LaMorgese says. "BDSM simply brings couples closer together. The bedroom, graced with BDSM, becomes an endless sexual circus of exploration and fun, and banishes boredom from the boudoir, forever."

Images: Viliman Viliman/Unsplash; Giphy(8)