3 Reasons Why Confidence Isn't About Being Certain

by Brianna Wiest

We have always known that confidence is important, but what we don't know is how to build it, how to recover it, or what it looks like when it's healthy. If nothing else, I have confidence in this being true, because it's more than evident: we're all over the map when it comes to self-esteem. We're either cripplingly insecure, delusional in our self-assuredness, or somewhere in the middle... still just as confused.

Let me break it down for you this way: being confident is simply knowing that you're capable of doing something, and that you're worth it, too. Unfortunately, because an irrevocable element of the human condition is being uncertain of our abilities (and deservedness) we've begun to compensate by aggrandizing our sense of self. Needless to say: it hasn't worked.

Real confidence isn't about being certain that you're worth it, it's about being certain that you want to try anyway (and that you deserve to try, too). It's not about winning every fight, but being willing to be wrong. It's knowing that there's more to you than just what other people can see and understand and pick apart. True confidence does not come from being completely certain, but just in being willing to try and fail. It's not knowing that you deserve to get to the finish line, but that everybody can run the race if so they choose. Here, 3 more reasons why confidence has very little to do with complete certainty (and everything to do with humility, willingness and honesty):

It Seems Obvious, But Nobody Is Perfect

Nobody is good at everything, nobody is right all of the time. It's not that your weaknesses are "faults" — they're just part of the composition, and they balance you out. You're not supposed to strive for or even feign complete confidence in everything. You're just supposed to look at yourself honestly and objectively.

Confident People Are Comfortable Feeling Insecure Sometimes

Insecure people are not comfortable with that feeling, and so to compensate/deflect, they create a persona that's confident literally all the time. Their mindset is: the more impenetrable the shield, the safer the person.

There's No Such Thing As Certainty — About Anything — But Not Everybody Lets That Stop Them

Nobody's sure all the time. Hell, nobody's sure even a good part of the time. It's really not about whether or not you're "sure" that you're good enough or that you're worthwhile. Everybody feels uncertain about these things. But not everybody lets that stop them. That's the difference.

Images: Pexels; Giphy(3)