Fitness App Tracks You Bragging About Your Workouts, Just In Case You Forgot — VIDEO
We're all guilty of it — we get up early before the dawn, drag our sorry butts to the gym, spend the next hour in a grueling, gut-busting workout, and then we forget to brag about it on social media. Well, thanks to Mashable's new fitness app that tracks how often you brag about your workouts, you'll never run into that problem again! This technology is so innovative and in sync with your ever expanding ego that it will prod you to post a status on Facebook before you even get off the elliptical, so Becky from accounting will wake up to the stone cold glory of your #sweatyselfie #didntwakeuplikethis #gotthiswayafterbeingabossatlife #suckitbecky.
The app is called I'mFit, and it won't stop buzzing until you unsubtly remind everyone in your office that YOU WORKED OUT TODAY, so you can ride the smug rainbow all the way to closing time. It even has the life-changing ability to remind you just how many fitness trackers you're wearing at any given time, so you don't screw up and forget to tweet the stats on one of them during your lunch hour. But those are just a few of its amazing features, which include but are not limited to:
Encouraging You To Prolong The Agony Of Your Acquaintances
Acquaintances: they know you just well enough that they can't walk away, but not nearly enough to tell you to shut the f*ck up and choke yourself with a dumb bell!
Keeping Score Of Just How Many Times You've Mentioned The Same Soul-Crushingly Boring Things
Sucks to sock, everyone else!
Rewarding You For Your Unadulterated Jackassery
Awww, shucks, I'mFit! We're ALL the worst!
As the target audience for this app (my Insta is littered with ever-so-casual Manhattan skyline pics at dawn, because hashtag running life, hashtag did you see how early I am awake?, hashtag please don't murder me), I give it my full-fledged, self-important approval. Learn more about how YOU can plague your co-workers with your annoyingly fit self here: