I'm not saying that I went into Scream Queens totally biased, but... OK, yeah, I went into Scream Queens totally biased. I had seen the pictures, watched the clips, heard the rave reviews and I knew that Scream Queens character Hester Ulrich, played by my girl Lea Michele, was going to be totally stand out. Though, I didn't quite know just how unique and extraordinary Hester would be. Because the girl is weird and yet oddly wonderful.
If you could get past her overt knowledge of how to dispose of a body like she was Dexter 2.0, or perhaps if you embraced it, because, let's be real, it was impressive in a disconcerting way, you saw that there was a lot more to Hester than her uber geeky and unkempt appearance. In fact, being that she actually spoke so little during the two hour premiere, it was more her long-lauded body language and facial expressions that I had continuously heard about that solidified her as my total favorite. And, also as my new life guru. So much can be said by saying so little, and we can all benefit from Hester's unparalleled ability to speak volumes with the simple raising of an eye brow or a fist pump.
Here are 11 Hester-isms for every day situations, because you know you've experienced them all.
1. When You Start Your First Day At A New Job & A Nice Lady Shows You Where The Break Room Is
Will you be my mom?
2. When Your Friend's Shady Boyfriend's Cell Phone Is Left Unattended
*Tip toes away*
3. When You Catch Your Sibling Crawling In Past 2 A.M.
How all blackmail agreements come to fruition.
4. When You Ask Your Friends To Get Your Instagram Pic To 11 Likes
Guilt. Works every time.
5. When You're Low-Key Trying To Adjust Your Bra In Public
Best to do it whilst the others are distracted.
6. When Your Friend Offers To Be The DD Without Provocation
Sweet, sweet, sweet victory. Yeah.
7. When You Readily Accept A Round Of Shots From A Stranger
You're broke, OK?
8. When You Make It To The Parking Meter With One Minute To Spare
With the meter maid is lurking in the distance.
9. When You Get Your Period On A Tinder Date
10. When You're In Target & You're Trying To Get Your Mom To Buy Something For You
Isn't this so nice? Wouldn't this look so good on me? Too bad I don't have the money...
11. When You Catch Your Friend's Shady Boyfriend Being Shady, Call Him Out, & Your Friend Gets Mad At You
I thought we collectively broke up with him and plotted his murder. What's the big deal?
So, you know what, guys? We're all a lot more like Hester than we think. Let that sink in for a minute.