Like the rest of the kids who had the bossest childhoods, the first time I read a Harry Potter book, I was in elementary school. Back then we were all too young to even know what an internet was, let alone have social media — which is what makes 'Harry Potter' parody Twitter accounts all the more delicious. There's nothing quite like watching someone bastardize your entire childhood in 140 characters or less, amirite? (Hypothetical question. When it comes to Harry Potter, I am always right.)
It's these Potterheads who are doing the good work. The important work. They're picking up where the Harry Potter Puppet Pals left off, and keeping the dream alive. Because the only thing you could argue is more fun than being a Potterhead is relentlessly mocking Potterheads and everything we stand for. And Twitter is basically a breeding ground for making fun of yourself, last I checked. So if you find yourself without and quality Twitter parody accounts to scroll down on your feed during your mid-morning and mid-afternoon pee breaks at work, boy howdy, did I just make your life a lot more worth living. Here are the best Harry Potter parody Twitter accounts on the internet that every Muggle needs to follow right now:
The Dark Lord
Arguably the most famous Harry Potter parody account, he uses the powers of dark magic and SASS to put us all in our place.
Rude Harry Potter Thoughts
Here to emotionally cripple you in four seconds or less is Rude HP Thoughts, which gives you feelings about things you don't even have room to have feelings for. Buckle up — it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
It's Harry Potter
Pure, unadulterated sass from The Boy Who Lived (And Then Meme'd All Over Twitter).
The Sorting Bot
If you follow it, it automatically sorts you into a House, and gives you some amazingly harebrained reason to justify it. WHAT IS STOPPING YOU?! Go to there.
Harry Potter Jokes
I don't know what will hurt more, reading these punny Potter pick-up lines or palming yourself in the face so hard when you read them that you see stars — but either way, it hurts so good.
The wry sarcasm this account uses to relate Umbridge's philosophy to actual uncool shiz happening in the modern day Muggle world is GOLD.
So what are you waiting for? Hit that follow button, swish aaaaaand flick!
Images: Warner Bros.