11 Weed Hacks For The Resourceful Stoner
As fun as smoking weed can be, every frequent stoner knows that getting high isn't always as simple as we would like it to be. Grinders go missing, pipes break, cotton mouth will always try to wreck your make-out sessions, and lighters that were accounted for while you were grinding, packing, and/or rolling always seem to vanish the second you're ready to take that first puff.
Fortunately, though, despite the numerous stereotypes that would suggest otherwise, stoners can be pretty dang resourceful, (especially about their bud) so there are a lot of cool weed hacks that can make your whole high experience much simpler and even more enjoyable.
If you're a marijuana enthusiast, then you already know there's a vast wealth of weed wisdom out there to aid you with even the most ridiculous of pot-related problems. But whether you're a weed genius, a weed novice, or somewhere in between (like myself), there are certain pot hacks that are simple enough for any smoker to take advantage of.
1. Use A Bobby Pin To Clean Ash Out Of Your Bowl & De-Clog Your Pipe
I can't even count how many times I've used one of my bobby pins to clean the ash out of a bowl, or de-clog a pipe or a one-hitter. It's perfect, because I pretty much always have a bobby pin handy. The only downside to this hack is, if I need to de-clog my actual pipe instead of just my bowl, I have to straighten out (and thus ruin) my bobby pin to do it — but bobby pins are super cheap and incredibly effective at clearing passageways.
2. Keep Lip Balm With Your Weed Paraphernalia
Weed can dry my whole mouth out fast, and not having access to lip balm when that happens (especially when trying to initiate a make-out session) can be pretty miserable. So I keep some lip balm wherever I keep all my weed stuff. I also try to remember to keep some in my handbag and/or pockets for when I'm smoking away from home. That way, when cotton mouth turns my lips to sandpaper, the sweet, soothing solution is always within my grasp.
Personally, I prefer a mint-flavored lip balm, because it helps with dry lips, as well as any unfortunate smoker's breath I might develop, and also just because you won't find a much tastier mixture than good bud and yummy mint.
3. ... And Sunglasses Too
A chemical component in marijuana causes the blood vessels in eyeballs to dilate. So sunglasses are essential if I've been daytime smoking and then have to go out in public. It's so much easier to relax and enjoy my high when I don't have to worry about my eyes looking too red. Plus, UV rays are no joke. So, I keep a pair of shades in my handbag at all times.
4. Suck On Candy Or Mints While You Smoke
Personally, I'd give Jolly Ranchers a try — but pretty much any kind of candy or mint will work well, too. I just pop the treat into my mouth while I'm prepping my bowl/bong/joint/blunt/vape, suck on it until I can really taste all its sweet and/or sour-y goodness, and then keep it in my cheek while I puff. It's indescribably delicious, and it also helps combat both cotton mouth and the munchies.
5. Use A Clean Penny & A Pill Bottle As A Makeshift Grinder
Losing and/or misplacing my grinder sucks. But if I have access to a penny and any kind of pill bottle, it doesn't have to keep me from getting lifted. I clean the penny (or whatever coin) with rubbing alcohol first (because money is notoriously gross), then drop a nugget or two in an empty pill bottle with the clean penny, pop the bottle's lid into place, and shake. Voila!
6. Smoke Before Meal Times
The munchies can be overpowering. But when I'm able to plan my highs around my meals (particularly if I just wait to smoke until I'm about to eat dinner), then I'm able to avoid the over-indulging that is often associated with smoking marijuana. The food also tastes even more delicious, and I'm actually likely to have a better sense of when I'm full when I eat with a spirit of high mindfulness.
7. Keep A Back-Up Stash Somewhere Safe
I'm by no means suggesting you should go all Ilana Wexler and hide weed in your body cavities. Also, running out of weed really isn't that big of a deal, unless you're using it to treat a medical condition.
That said, I still think it's nice to have a back-up stash sometimes. Especially because, in true stoner fashion, I sometimes forget about it for a good while and then happen upon it at the most opportune time. Just don't forget to store it well (mason jars are great) and keep it somewhere your pets and young relatives won't find it.
8. Make Your Own Bong Out Of A Plastic Bottle
OK, so I've never actually made my own DIY bong — but it looks pretty easy. Plus, you know, reduce, reuse, and recycle.
9. Keep Lube Handy
While weed can actually make sex more enjoyable for many people, some report that it can also cause vaginal dryness — so in my experience, it's a good idea to keep lube handy if you're planning to bong and bang. Personally, I love lube, and would suggest using it whether you're having sex while high or sober — but since vaginal dryness is just the worst, stay stocked up on lube if you and your partner like to smoke before having sex.
10. Create Your Own "Chill Out" Mantra For When You're Feeling Paranoid
Smoking weed rarely makes me feel paranoid, but I have gotten high and then freaked out super hard a couple of times — and because of those experiences, I now have a mantra to calm myself down. What I like to tell myself is this: "everything is exactly the same as it was five minutes ago — you're just high." Feel free to repeat this to yourself if you're ever feeling freaked out after getting high — or make up your own mantra.
11. Use A Drop Of Honey To Keep Joints From Burning Too Quickly
I've never tested this out myself (mostly because I can't roll for sh*t). But I have heard that if you rub a drop of honey over the skin of a rolled joint, it helps prevent said doobie from burning too quickly. Also, it probably smells and tastes delicious.