October is finally upon us, bringing a welcome slew of crisp air and apple picking and Pumpkin Spice treats. It's a great time for everyone (except maybe for those of us with colored hair). The month hosts the best holiday of the year: Halloween. And think about it, it is a holiday about candy and dressing up in fun outfits that is not based in any one religion or culture, meaning everyone can enjoy it. It is, arguably, the perfect holiday for all.
But by “for all,” I mostly mean “for everyone without colored hair.” See, having an unnatural hair color comes with its strange questions and catcalls any time of the year, but the attention a person with bright hair gets around the month of October is a whole different level of strange and intrusive. With inquiries being thrown at you by everyone from your cashier at Whole Foods to older relatives you might not have seen recently, this month might be a little more stressful than the peaceful hayrides and pumpkin patch excursions you are probably hoping for. If this is your first October with a hair color not typically found in nature, let me break down what this month has in store for you — and of course, how to deal with it in style.
1. “You know it’s not Halloween yet, right?”
Somewhere around late September, the belief that your hair is somehow part of a Halloween costume starts to creep into the public consciousness. This belief, then, requires the ones it infects to let you know that said Halloween costume is premature. Yes, you are aware that October 31st has not come and gone just yet. Which is why you are wearing a sweater and jeans instead of, say, a sexy witch costume.
2. “What are you supposed to be?”
This is my favorite type of question, as you can get creative with your answer. Come up with a ridiculous costume concept to freak out the person asking. They’re probably attempting to insult you anyway.
3. “Cool (insert character name) costume!”
I appreciate the compliment, but what costume requires me to go to CVS hungover in sweatpants? If this is really how easy it is to throw together a cool costume, why do I stress so much to think of one every year?
4. “Hey, Halloween’s over, you know!”
Just when you think the madness is all said and done, expect this bad boy to invade your life for about 2 weeks. Again, no shit, you are aware of the current date just like any other reasonable adult. Tell them that Halloween is forever, flip them off, and get on with your spooky self.
If you ask me, something as wonderful as having colored hair should never be limited to just one month.
Images: Kenny Suleimanagich/Bustle; Giphy (4)