Passing arbitrary judgement can be fun, so that's what I'm going to do as I judge your sex life based on your favorite movie. That is if your favorite movie is on this list of ten movies that I've chosen. A lot about what we learn about sex, especially when we're younger, comes from the movies anyway, so it's not as much of a stretch as you'd think to read into your sex life based on your favorite movie. I mean, just because you like Eyes Wide Shut doesn't necessarily mean you like orgies, but one might speculate.
So how do you know what your favorite movie says about you and your sex life? Well, you come to me, and I use my amazing detective skills to make something vaguely feasible up. So if you don't find your favorite movie on this list, feel free to hit me up on Twitter or whatever, and I'll let you know what your actual favorite movie says about you. Just remember: it's not my fault if you don't like the answer. Now, without further ado, here's what your favorite movie says about you, from a list of the first 10 movies that popped into my head:
1. Mean Girls
You have maybe slept with your best friend's boyfriend. And if you haven't, you have definitely thought about it at least once.
2. Die Hard
You enjoy a post coital cigarette in bed. You also put up a facade of emotional detachment, but deep down you care more than you would ever let on.
3. The Notebook
There's a lot of eye contact when you have sex. You probably can't detach sex from love, and that's OK, but possibly also a bit creepy for the person you're staring at while f*cking.
You have some unusual sexual fetishes. I mean, it's fine and everything, but if it's a mom thing or a murder thing you probably want to look for like-minded people when you're finding a sexual partner.
5. Fast & Furious
You like to be thrown around, lifted by the ass, and generally to do it in dirty, adrenaline inducing situations. You also like to have sex with people who are seven times the size of you in muscles.
You see the funny side of sex. You're also probably one of those disgusting people in a relationship with your "best friend" (when I say "disgusting," what I mean is "everyone is jealous of you").
7. Being John Malkovich
Everything about you is a giant head f*ck. You like relationships to be as conceptual as possible, and you don't ever really enjoy sex because you're too caught up in the existential implications of having it.
8. Pulp Fiction
You're mostly emotionally detached from sex, but also enjoy the companionship and conversation that comes with it. You're a fiend for period sex.
9. Meet Joe Black
You're a starfish.
10. Sleepless In Seattle
You're a daydreamer, so your sex has a very cinematic feel to it. You're also either on the hunt for The One or already shacked up with The One. Either way you're very much about The One.
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